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Offline Conroy Johanns

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Edge Cases
« on: April 10, 2022, 01:44:55 AM »
I have an old friend who I'm trying to help through a period of grieving. The short version is that almost exactly a year ago, she found her husband dead on the couch in their house. She's a fucked-up kid and they were a fucked-up couple, complete with stories of domestic abuse and a shared history of substance abuse disorders. A messed-up situation all around.

So, here's the thing. At the one-year anniversary of her husband's death, I came out to just hang with her and help her through it. The point was that we were gonna watch movies, hang, drink as much as she needed to, and when the waves of grief hit I would hold her hand and help her through it.

All of which we did. But another thing happened, too.

I was specifically, in my head, committed to keeping all of this non-erotic. However, at one point, she asked me to cuddle her in her bed. I rubbed her back in the process, just trying to be comforting, and she kept rubbing her feet against my legs and I playfully told her: "Enough with the feet." And then she stuck her feet in my face, equally playfully, basically just: "You don't want my feet? Here's my feet!

Well... she has pretty feet. And I was hammed at this point. And I started massaging and kissing them and sucking her toes, b/c I'm a dumbass when I'm confronted with pretty feet.

One thing led to another. We stopped short of actually fucking -- both of us were cognizant enough to be aware that it was a line we didn't want to cross -- but there was a lot of oral and a powerfully erotic vibe and I dunno if I can stop thinking about it. But the consent issue kinda bothers me. I told her that I wasn't angling for sexual shit in helping her out, and I meant that and I mean that, but I don't know if I effectively took advantage of her in this instance. It seems she didn't think so, but... I dunno. This incident is fucking with my head and I'm pretty sure I did wrong... I just am not sure *how* wrong.

I trust this forum to have an informed take, b/c I'm trying to decide how appropriate or inappropriate it would be to pursue a further relationship, which I feel like we're both thinking about but I'm not sure where *her* side of that is coming from. I'm confounded, basically. And I could use some outside perspectives.
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Currently at work on Sisters: A Star Trek TNG Fanfic. Sleazy BDSM shenanigans with Ishara Yar and a long-lost clone of her sister, Tasha. I've finally started a member thread, too.

Offline Trill

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Re: Edge Cases
« Reply #1 on: April 10, 2022, 07:43:40 AM »
I think as long as you didn't do anything she wasn't uncomfortable with, and you stayed within the boundaries you specifically set, it sounds like you didn't really fuck up too bad. You got drunk and got a bit frisky, people have been doing that since time immemorial. If anything, you sound like you and your lady friend were remarkably restrained with each other.

Back when I was living as a guy, I kissed a married woman. In my defense, her marriage was dead at that point, and she was filing for divorce, but I still told her the next time I saw her that I didn't want to do anything untoward. I would advise you to learn from my example, Conroy: honesty is the best policy, clear communication is key, and there is still a place in this world for gentlemen*.



*even if said gentlemen are perverts in the boudoir
That's not quite the Roddenberry vision of the Federation, but I can live with it. - SoftGameHunter
To all the ladies on this site I have sodomized to the point of bleeding, feel free to laugh in vengeance at my misfortune, because my finances are similarly buttfucked. - Cobra
honestly Trek is just so, so full of kinky, sleazy shit just barely under the PG surface - Conroy Johanns

Offline Shocker

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Re: Edge Cases
« Reply #2 on: April 10, 2022, 08:58:06 AM »
I can’t offer advice based on own experience, other than what Trill said. Speak with her, be open about what you think and feel, then listen to her. If nothing else it will clear out any confusion about what she thinks and feels.


Offline LastBreath

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Re: Edge Cases
« Reply #3 on: April 28, 2022, 12:59:33 PM »
She's the first who put her foot in it, don't think about it too long. You can pretend like nothing happened and move on... This is my opinion

Offline Conroy Johanns

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Re: Edge Cases
« Reply #4 on: April 30, 2022, 03:30:21 AM »
You can pretend like nothing happened and move on... This is my opinion

That seems to be the option we're going with, for better or worse.
"Nobody brought an extra bag!"

Currently at work on Sisters: A Star Trek TNG Fanfic. Sleazy BDSM shenanigans with Ishara Yar and a long-lost clone of her sister, Tasha. I've finally started a member thread, too.

 

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