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Author Topic: Rewritten rape lyrics  (Read 3300 times)

Offline Glacialis

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Rewritten rape lyrics
« on: July 08, 2014, 06:06:35 PM »
Here all songs can be about the thing we love most: rape <3

Welcome to corrupt everything from hard rock to the sweetest ballads.

Inspired by Frodo's epic rap(e) battle lyrics ;)
« Last Edit: July 08, 2014, 07:44:17 PM by Glacialis »
Rapists should after all rape the victims exactly when, where and how the victim wants. That's how it works. Right?

Offline Glacialis

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Re: Rewritten rape lyrics
« Reply #1 on: July 08, 2014, 06:12:22 PM »
Can we pretend that role play
is the real thing and you're raping me?
I could really use a cock right now,
a cock right now, a cock right now.


Can we pretend that airplanes
In the night sky are like shooting stars?
I could really use a wish right now
Wish right now, wish right now


Rapists should after all rape the victims exactly when, where and how the victim wants. That's how it works. Right?

Offline Glacialis

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Re: Rewritten rape lyrics
« Reply #2 on: July 08, 2014, 07:38:29 PM »
Nothing wrong with Rolling Stones but I like the Sundays version best (even though it skips two verses). Dedicated to Ingy and all other wannabe snugglerapepets.



Snatching you baby was easy to do
The things you most hated, I did them to you
Poor little baby, you know who I am
You know I can't let you unbruised from my hands

Come my baby, don't you like it this way?
Don't claim it's not exciting, this not having a say

I watched you suffer a dull aching pain
Now take it all, baby, you know the game
No weeping exits or out of place whines
I do rape and hurt you, but I'm not unkind

Oh, it upsets you, that I dragged you away
But I'll keep you safe now, all safe in my cave

You think my love is a sin and a lie
But I want you baby, with me all the time time
Your heart's been broken, tears must be cried
But you'll learn to love me, before we die

Babe, this is home now, no going away
My darling baby, you will want me one day

Come my baby, don't you like it this way?
The door to your dungeon will stay open one day
Rapists should after all rape the victims exactly when, where and how the victim wants. That's how it works. Right?

Online RayPistonprowl

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Re: Rewritten rape lyrics
« Reply #3 on: July 08, 2014, 09:42:46 PM »
Actually I only needed to change one word of this, it's pretty much there already.

Nick Cave and the Bad Seeds

Red Right Hand
snip

It's times like these that I miss having a rep button.
You haven't lived until you've received a teabagging from the prince of darkness. -IndieGuy
I had a horse shoe covered in 4 leaf clovers up my ass the other day b/c I was lucky enough to see cosmicwitch 's photos. -bjc1979
Can all the ladies on here stop being so ridiculously hot? My dick can get only so hard! -LiskaHunter
A good cup of tea lies between He-Man and Donald Trump in colour. -the_silkman
"As fuck" is my favorite unit of measurement. -lysyn
Fucking shitty wanky creamed undercrackers. -wetslut

Offline Ingenue

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Re: Rewritten rape lyrics
« Reply #4 on: July 14, 2014, 07:09:03 PM »
Sorry, this one rapes nothing but good taste.


I like big nuts and I cannot lie!
And you other women can't deny,
When a guy walks in with a swagger in his step
And a big ol' sack to schlep
You get WET! Wanna touch and weigh 'em
Cuz the nuts got me like dayum!
Those loose little pants he's wearing
Balls swinging and I can't stop staring
Oh bay-bee, wanna slap and stretch 'em
My pet half wants to fetch 'em.
My girlfriends think I'm credulous,
But them nuts you got are oh so pendulous!
I'm tired of magazines
Saying slack nuts are the thing.
Take the average petgirl and ask her that?
He gotta pack much sack!
So ladies! (Yeah!) Ladies! (Yeah!)
Has your boyfriend got the nuts? (Heck yeah!)
Tell him to shake 'em, shake 'em,
Shake those hefty nuts.
Baby got sack yo!
(Little in the middle but he got much sack!)
Baby got sack!
(A V-shaped torso and he got much sack!)
Baby got sack!
(Pert little buttocks and he got much sack!)
Baby got sa-

*Ingy gets locked back in her cage* Aww... darn...
« Last Edit: July 14, 2014, 07:23:08 PM by Ingenue »
Rayray rubbed his willay against my pissflaps. ~kittyumbrass
I like my unicorns pink. and fluffy. and dancing, in the vicinity of meteorological optical effects ~kittyumbrass
Turns out that France understands neither peanut butter nor tacos ~IrishGirl

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Offline FrodoKreuger

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Re: Rewritten rape lyrics
« Reply #5 on: July 14, 2014, 07:17:40 PM »
Ingy, you are funny  as hell, I love it!

Online RayPistonprowl

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Re: Rewritten rape lyrics
« Reply #6 on: July 18, 2014, 04:52:45 PM »
You take some rape then some bitch
then some rape then some bitch
you got a raped bitch stack
a raped bitch stack

It's on top of itself niggaaaaaa


You haven't lived until you've received a teabagging from the prince of darkness. -IndieGuy
I had a horse shoe covered in 4 leaf clovers up my ass the other day b/c I was lucky enough to see cosmicwitch 's photos. -bjc1979
Can all the ladies on here stop being so ridiculously hot? My dick can get only so hard! -LiskaHunter
A good cup of tea lies between He-Man and Donald Trump in colour. -the_silkman
"As fuck" is my favorite unit of measurement. -lysyn
Fucking shitty wanky creamed undercrackers. -wetslut

Offline Ingenue

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Re: Rewritten rape lyrics
« Reply #7 on: July 21, 2014, 03:34:13 PM »
Only for you, Lovecrafty. because the track itself has nothing to do with ponies. In fact it's a rather witty take-down of typical hip hop lyrics.
« Last Edit: July 21, 2014, 03:36:22 PM by Ingenue »
Rayray rubbed his willay against my pissflaps. ~kittyumbrass
I like my unicorns pink. and fluffy. and dancing, in the vicinity of meteorological optical effects ~kittyumbrass
Turns out that France understands neither peanut butter nor tacos ~IrishGirl

Likes and limits on my profile!

Offline Ingenue

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Re: Rewritten rape lyrics
« Reply #8 on: July 22, 2014, 03:11:30 PM »
Pish-tush, please stop pretending there's anything non-pony that you don't know everything about. Allow a pet her fantasies.
Rayray rubbed his willay against my pissflaps. ~kittyumbrass
I like my unicorns pink. and fluffy. and dancing, in the vicinity of meteorological optical effects ~kittyumbrass
Turns out that France understands neither peanut butter nor tacos ~IrishGirl

Likes and limits on my profile!

Online RayPistonprowl

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Re: Rewritten rape lyrics
« Reply #9 on: July 22, 2014, 08:27:11 PM »
Sorry, I wrote hop-hip, didn't I? That was silly. I meant rip-rap, of course.

You nicked that from me, you silly sod. ;)
You haven't lived until you've received a teabagging from the prince of darkness. -IndieGuy
I had a horse shoe covered in 4 leaf clovers up my ass the other day b/c I was lucky enough to see cosmicwitch 's photos. -bjc1979
Can all the ladies on here stop being so ridiculously hot? My dick can get only so hard! -LiskaHunter
A good cup of tea lies between He-Man and Donald Trump in colour. -the_silkman
"As fuck" is my favorite unit of measurement. -lysyn
Fucking shitty wanky creamed undercrackers. -wetslut

Offline Glacialis

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Re: Rewritten rape lyrics
« Reply #10 on: July 24, 2014, 03:46:08 AM »
My pet half wants to fetch 'em.

Thanks for the visuals Ingy :)) And a big OUCHIE from the resident ball bearers I suppose?
Rapists should after all rape the victims exactly when, where and how the victim wants. That's how it works. Right?

Offline Ingenue

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Re: Rewritten rape lyrics
« Reply #11 on: July 24, 2014, 07:26:14 PM »
I love it. And you know, it makes more sense this way. If your guy wants to seduce and marry one particular girl, like Jack does, then their methods are way overkill. If he wants to win the trust of a succession of women easily, though...

*imagines a highly trained rape jester, squirms happily and very blushily* :jester:
Rayray rubbed his willay against my pissflaps. ~kittyumbrass
I like my unicorns pink. and fluffy. and dancing, in the vicinity of meteorological optical effects ~kittyumbrass
Turns out that France understands neither peanut butter nor tacos ~IrishGirl

Likes and limits on my profile!

Offline Ingenue

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Re: Rewritten rape lyrics
« Reply #12 on: July 25, 2014, 04:52:54 PM »
In return, I give you an innocent cute little love duet. :angel:

[Edit: Here's the original for singing along purposes.]


VELVET:
None shall part us from each other;
One in life of crime are we --
All in all to one another,
I to thee and thou to me.

Thou the talon, I the feather;
Thou the fish-hook, I the bait;
Thou the stud, and I the leather;
Thou the captain, I the mate;
I the knife, and thou the surgeon;
I the sergeant, thou the law;
I persuasion, thou coercion;
I the velvet, thou the claw

(CLAW:
I the talon, thou the feather;
I the fish-hook, thou the bait;
I the stud, and thou the leather;
I the captain, thou the mate;
Thou the knife, and I the surgeon;
Thou the sergeant, I the law;
Thou persuasion, I coercion;
Thou the velvet, I the claw)

VELVET:
Hostage thine, in thee submerging
Ere too long I grew to find
Thine the voice within me urging --
Thy dear darkness in my mind:

Thou the talon, I the feather;
Thou the fish-hook, I the bait;
Thou the stud, and I the leather;
Thou the captain, I the mate;
I the knife, and thou the surgeon;
I the sergeant, thou the law;
I persuasion, thou coercion;
I the velvet, thou the claw.

(CLAW:
I the talon, thou the feather;
I the fish-hook, thou the bait;
I the stud, and thou the leather;
I the captain, thou the mate;
Thou the knife, and I the surgeon;
Thou the sergeant, I the law;
Thou persuasion, I coercion;
Thou the velvet, I the claw.)
« Last Edit: July 26, 2014, 04:52:55 PM by Ingenue »
Rayray rubbed his willay against my pissflaps. ~kittyumbrass
I like my unicorns pink. and fluffy. and dancing, in the vicinity of meteorological optical effects ~kittyumbrass
Turns out that France understands neither peanut butter nor tacos ~IrishGirl

Likes and limits on my profile!

Offline Ingenue

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Re: Rewritten rape lyrics
« Reply #13 on: July 26, 2014, 10:45:48 AM »
The adventures of Velvet and Claw, whatever their real names, continue.  I know nothing about this pair except that they decided to sing perverted G&S lyrics to me until I agreed to write them down.  (What does it say about Gilly that his lyrics lend themselves so readily to psychopaths and their accomplices?)

[Edit: and of the original, so you can sing along. Ha. If you can successfully sing along to this, call me, my bed is waiting.]


MAISIE:
My eyes are fully open to my fearful situation!
I must beg you both for mercy with my prettiest oration.
I implore you to recover your forgotten moral senses
For your treacherous intentions carry awful consequences.
Now my death I do not hope for; I would really rather slow it,
But the stealing of my virtue, I beseech you to forgo it
For in gratitude, I swear to you, your secrecy I'd flatter;
No, I wouldn't tell a soul, so my escaping wouldn't matter.

CLAW:
Your escaping wouldn't matter?

MAISIE:
My escaping wouldn't matter.

VELVET:
Your escaping wouldn't matter?

MAISIE:
My escaping wouldn't matter.

VELVET & CLAW:
Her escaping wouldn't matter!
Her escaping wouldn't matter!
Her escaping wouldn't matter, matter, matter, matter, matter!


VELVET:
If I were more autonomous and open to suggestion
I would help you in a trice, but the affair is not in question.
For I have my lord and master near to keep me safe from erring
And I do not crave the punishment you lately are incurring.
On the subject I should teach you a most valuable lesson
Full of excellent advice, although my methods were distressin';
Your particularly vapid unintelligible chatter
Should be kept unto yourself, for your opinion doesn't matter.

MAISIE:
My opinion doesn't matter?

VELVET & CLAW:
Your opinion doesn't matter! etc.


CLAW:
When I was but a little brute, I had an elder brother
Who would fight with me as you are fighting now with one another.
Through his multifar'yus torments I grew cunning and sadistic
And I learned to face creation with an outlook realistic.
Now I capture girls like you to live my charming Sabine idyll
While appearing to my neighbours an upstanding indiwiddle;
Through my manor house's stonework, any scream or cry or clatter
Isn't generally heard, and if it is it doesn't matter.

MAISIE:
If it is it doesn't matter?

VELVET:
If it is it doesn't matter! etc.


(And then they rape her)
« Last Edit: July 26, 2014, 06:14:44 PM by Ingenue »
Rayray rubbed his willay against my pissflaps. ~kittyumbrass
I like my unicorns pink. and fluffy. and dancing, in the vicinity of meteorological optical effects ~kittyumbrass
Turns out that France understands neither peanut butter nor tacos ~IrishGirl

Likes and limits on my profile!

Offline Ingenue

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Re: Rewritten rape lyrics
« Reply #14 on: July 26, 2014, 03:16:48 PM »
You mean... he switched bodies with the young lady and killed her? :O

What deviltry is this!
Rayray rubbed his willay against my pissflaps. ~kittyumbrass
I like my unicorns pink. and fluffy. and dancing, in the vicinity of meteorological optical effects ~kittyumbrass
Turns out that France understands neither peanut butter nor tacos ~IrishGirl

Likes and limits on my profile!

 

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