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Author Topic: 50 shades - who's going?  (Read 11356 times)

Offline RayPistonprowl

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Re: 50 shades - who's going?
« Reply #60 on: July 21, 2015, 04:01:49 PM »
At least Kingsman was fun ;)
My pussy is squirting out air with a high pitched sound. -Ingy
It's like a freight train trying to fit into a Pringles tube. -Ingy
The rape and abuse is a feature, not a bug. -the savage
I need your body. Alive would suffice. -Ingenue, to me
Fucking Fuck Bollocking Piss Flap Beef Curtain Cheesy Knob Head Cunting Dog shit... -wetslut
Ever take a shit that felt like a car crash? I just finished wiping came through to the living room, collapsed in the sofa breathless and was like, oh help my fuck that was traumatic. -Conrad

Offline Ingenue

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Re: 50 shades - who's going?
« Reply #61 on: July 21, 2015, 04:46:06 PM »
JB is best secwet agent. Someone give him a gun.
I gave someone rep a sloppy beej last night ~Ray, "correcting" southernbelle's post
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Offline Addie

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Re: 50 shades - who's going?
« Reply #62 on: July 21, 2015, 11:35:53 PM »
So silly.  XD


Offline Ingenue

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Re: 50 shades - who's going?
« Reply #63 on: August 01, 2015, 07:02:51 PM »
Would it help if I kidnapped you for awhile and chained you to a Macbook on an intravenous tea feed? REDACTED will be fine, she's taking tea and chocolates with Miss Andrey just now. Just be done before they fall in lesbians with each other.
I gave someone rep a sloppy beej last night ~Ray, "correcting" southernbelle's post
You girls are post-ethical. ~AdamWantsYou
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Offline Ingenue

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Re: 50 shades - who's going?
« Reply #64 on: August 02, 2015, 12:07:42 PM »
...very good point.

All solved then!
I gave someone rep a sloppy beej last night ~Ray, "correcting" southernbelle's post
You girls are post-ethical. ~AdamWantsYou
But then again, if there is anyone here who can tell you that you do not control the nickname you get saddled with it would be me ~the savage

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Offline The Demented Wizard

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Re: 50 shades - who's going?
« Reply #65 on: December 09, 2015, 05:58:40 AM »
SPOILER ALERT


Okay...so this was on HBO and out of curiosity as a Dom and being in the lifestyle...I watched it.  Here's a review as a Dom...by a Dom.

It was gay.  Not two women kissing or two penis' touching derogatory gay...but a little too chipper and appealing to the middle aged house wife. 

All of it was wrong.  He barely knows the girl and takes her virginity?! Way to be a stand up Dom you douche canoe.  I know I'd trust him.  And where in the fuck did she come from? A total virgin?! Rrrrrriiiiggghht. 

He makes it seem as though he IS a Dom. As though that is what he is, how he is wired, and always will be.  He says he's a Dom...but spent six years as a submissive. If that were the military, he would be a third of the way to a pension. You..are not a Dom.  You are a switch with Dom tendencies.

And this whole over the top ideal of him being a millionaire makes it appear you have to be rich to be a Dom.  Like all Doms have a $75,000 play room.  And what's up with the way he used a flogger?  Does he moonlight giving limp wristed hand jobs?

And don't get me started on him being a "sadist".  He punishes her on a dare basically?! Really?!  I'm a true sadist...through and through.  I enjoy inflicting and controlling pain upon someone.  However, not even I would just go to that level because she basically did a "double dog dare ya."  The idea is to create a mutual pleasure so you can do it again.  Not beat her with a belt like he's a slave owner in southern America 1861 without her having EVER done so before.

He's sooo dark and edgy. No one will understand him.  He's has been through so much.  Yet his go to..inflict the most pain is using a belt six times?!  Please..let ME show you how its done.  Ill have you screaming and pleading with out ever touching you. Then the physical fun begins. 

Negotiation was minimal at best which I'm fine with if you know someone for a long time. Typical generic safewords.  Its like the writer and directors took every BDSM "generic" action and put it into a movie.


I didn't expect a documentary, but much like the books it casts several subtle but negative shadows on a world I live in. When the books came out I was bombarded with questions about the lifestyle from vanilla friends, coworkers and even moms of children I coached.  The book was much more "invasive" but neither show the reality...the connection of two people on such a level, words need not be spoken, it's just fluid motion, beautiful and erotic, loving and painful, pleasurable and mutual.

What I watched was a high budget Cinemax late night soft core cheesy porn movie.
Maybe I'm a different kind of Dom and sadist...

However..some nice cars in it. 

« Last Edit: December 09, 2015, 06:06:16 AM by The Demented Wizard »

Offline Addie

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Re: 50 shades - who's going?
« Reply #66 on: December 09, 2015, 11:17:20 AM »
He makes it seem as though he IS a Dom. As though that is what he is, how he is wired, and always will be.  He says he's a Dom...but spent six years as a submissive. If that were the military, he would be a third of the way to a pension. You..are not a Dom.  You are a switch with Dom tendencies.

I ALMOST fapped to this post but I disagree vociferously ;) with the above. But you know that if you perused this thread: http://www.rapecage.com/forum/index.php/topic,828.0.html


Offline The Demented Wizard

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Re: 50 shades - who's going?
« Reply #67 on: December 09, 2015, 01:50:05 PM »
He makes it seem as though he IS a Dom. As though that is what he is, how he is wired, and always will be.  He says he's a Dom...but spent six years as a submissive. If that were the military, he would be a third of the way to a pension. You..are not a Dom.  You are a switch with Dom tendencies.

I ALMOST fapped to this post but I disagree vociferously ;) with the above. But you know that if you perused this thread: http://www.rapecage.com/forum/index.php/topic,828.0.html

Addie, I understand your position.  I too replied and have read that thread.  My perception of being a Dom differs from some here because I see no role reversal for myself but understand others are and can be.  My own submissive is a very strong woman in her everyday life but is submissive towards me because of what I naturally offer. In fact her and I never talked of our terms in the beginning. We just talked and she found herself with submissive tendencies towards myself.

I am the same in life as I am on the board...which has had its issues or situations on my life.  I am a dominant personality but not a douche I feel...as there is a difference. 

I called the character a switch with Dominant tendencies because what I believe to be a true dom, his character is not.  Looking past the flash and pageantry of Hollywood glamour, its easy to see he does not follow standard, inderstood decency and protocol that a dom would in this situation. I see his use of the belt as a window into how he was a sub and so feels thats how all subs should be.  His tendencies even point in that direction. The limp wristed unassertive use of the flogger.  The need to immerse her fully in the lifestyle so quickly. He is trying too hard to not be a sub...thus leaning me to believe his character is really just playing a role.  Not.the writers intention though it s clear her view of this life is not on point with how mine or others I know in the community are. 

I dont see the term switch as a derogatory term nor do I use it as such.  Im not huge on labels as they have so many meanings. The one of many double edged swords that comes from being a lifestyler.  Labels in BDSM change from one person to the next...or at least, their perception of the term. 

Offline Ingenue

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Re: 50 shades - who's going?
« Reply #68 on: December 09, 2015, 04:59:31 PM »
I share Addie's reservations, though I fapped it. ;)

Just one thing: I think if you have a dominant orientation you are a dominant, just like if you have an exclusively same-sex orientation you're gay. You can be a good or bad person on top of that, you can be mistaken about your orientation, your orientation can drift over the years for many reasons, you may not even ever participate in sex in a dom role, you can be an abusive ass and not a "real man" (in colloquial terms), but saying someone isn't a dominant because you hate how they do things is just a No True Scotsman fallacy, really. I totally agree that he's a jerk and not a good role model. Not a dominant... well only he knows that.

That said, Grey is a fictional character and we can and should criticize the portrayal of kink in this... literary work. ;)
I gave someone rep a sloppy beej last night ~Ray, "correcting" southernbelle's post
You girls are post-ethical. ~AdamWantsYou
But then again, if there is anyone here who can tell you that you do not control the nickname you get saddled with it would be me ~the savage

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Offline Addie

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Re: 50 shades - who's going?
« Reply #69 on: December 12, 2015, 10:10:04 PM »
I called the character a switch with Dominant tendencies because what I believe to be a true dom, his character is not.  Looking past the flash and pageantry of Hollywood glamour, its easy to see he does not follow standard, inderstood decency and protocol that a dom would in this situation. I see his use of the belt as a window into how he was a sub and so feels thats how all subs should be.  His tendencies even point in that direction. The limp wristed unassertive use of the flogger.  The need to immerse her fully in the lifestyle so quickly. He is trying too hard to not be a sub...thus leaning me to believe his character is really just playing a role.  Not.the writers intention though it s clear her view of this life is not on point with how mine or others I know in the community are. 

I dont see the term switch as a derogatory term nor do I use it as such.  Im not huge on labels as they have so many meanings. The one of many double edged swords that comes from being a lifestyler.  Labels in BDSM change from one person to the next...or at least, their perception of the term.


While I agree that E.L. James (author of 50 Shades of Grey) doesn't understand dominance/submission at all and it comes through in a terrible portrayal of everything about it, I disagree completely with your assertion that Christian Grey is not really a dominant just because he is "trying too hard not to be a sub". You're delving into Role Essentialism (and they are roles, ALWAYS, despite what you and many others seem to think you're born as). I see a lot of men do this when they're afraid to be seen as submissive or feminine or many other things they subconsciously feel are fine for others but never for them. I do detect a degree of hostility towards switches, though you say you don't think negatively of them. Have you ever switched? I really don't think a dominant can really understand his submissive's vulnerability and how much trust she's putting in him until he's played that role and gotten into the mindset of a sub for a bit. It's a great learning experience.

More posts on "Role Essentialism" or "Role Fundamentalism":
http://www.rapecage.com/forum/index.php/topic,828.msg46913.html#msg46913
http://www.rapecage.com/forum/index.php/topic,828.msg47140.html#msg47140
http://www.rapecage.com/forum/index.php/topic,828.msg47631.html#msg47631
« Last Edit: December 12, 2015, 10:14:08 PM by Addie »

Offline Addie

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Re: 50 shades - who's going?
« Reply #70 on: December 12, 2015, 10:20:38 PM »
An interesting chart related to "role essentialism"...

This comes from the following archived source:
https://web.archive.org/web/20150206202355/http://delvingintodeviance.com/2012/09/15/the-intersection-of-performative-masculinityfemininity-and-dominancesubmission/

The author says:
Quote
As you can see, how to act like a man neatly maps onto how to act like a dom, and how to act like a woman neatly maps onto how to act like a sub. In this way, heterosexual M/f couples (male dominant, female submissive) wherein the man is a sadist (enjoys giving pain), and the female a masochist (enjoys receiving pain) can easily perform their two roles flawlessly at the same time. This is exemplified by the wildly popular Fifty Shades of Grey. This book is able to be so easily consumed because it doesn’t trample on anyone’s preconceived notions of what it means to be male or female, dominant or submissive. The M/f couple then, can be at the top of the BDSM hierarchy, with the male dominant on top of course because he’s dominant (and dominants are supposed to be superior).
« Last Edit: December 12, 2015, 10:22:24 PM by Addie »

Offline RayPistonprowl

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Re: 50 shades - who's going?
« Reply #71 on: December 13, 2015, 02:22:35 PM »
Have you ever switched? I really don't think a dominant can really understand his submissive's vulnerability and how much trust she's putting in him until he's played that role and gotten into the mindset of a sub for a bit. It's a great learning experience.

I've switched from dominant to sub enough to know the sub role is scary as hell. It takes a lot of trust to give up power like that, even if you are technically controlling your dominant and have the power to shut down the scene if necessary. All that is useless if your dominant doesn't respect that, usually cos they think they 'know better' or 'want to push you places you don't think you're ready to go'. I was resistant to playing sub for a long time for all the reasons in that chart Addie listed, and it took some education and getting past those role biases before I could take on a role that is still seen by many uneducated sorts as bottom of the dung heap (submissive male). And yet it was essential in my learning to appropriately identify with what my subs were feeling. I honestly don't think men can be responsible dominants until they've gotten over that subconscious disdain for subs and played that role until they 'get' it!
My pussy is squirting out air with a high pitched sound. -Ingy
It's like a freight train trying to fit into a Pringles tube. -Ingy
The rape and abuse is a feature, not a bug. -the savage
I need your body. Alive would suffice. -Ingenue, to me
Fucking Fuck Bollocking Piss Flap Beef Curtain Cheesy Knob Head Cunting Dog shit... -wetslut
Ever take a shit that felt like a car crash? I just finished wiping came through to the living room, collapsed in the sofa breathless and was like, oh help my fuck that was traumatic. -Conrad

Offline RayPistonprowl

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Re: 50 shades - who's going?
« Reply #72 on: December 13, 2015, 02:24:07 PM »
I just want to add that I still hate shopping. ;)
My pussy is squirting out air with a high pitched sound. -Ingy
It's like a freight train trying to fit into a Pringles tube. -Ingy
The rape and abuse is a feature, not a bug. -the savage
I need your body. Alive would suffice. -Ingenue, to me
Fucking Fuck Bollocking Piss Flap Beef Curtain Cheesy Knob Head Cunting Dog shit... -wetslut
Ever take a shit that felt like a car crash? I just finished wiping came through to the living room, collapsed in the sofa breathless and was like, oh help my fuck that was traumatic. -Conrad

Offline Addie

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Re: 50 shades - who's going?
« Reply #73 on: December 13, 2015, 08:49:47 PM »
@RayPistonprowl So what you're saying is that because Christian Grey played submissive for a while he's potentially a better dominant? ;) (If only E.L. James had done her research on BDSM, she might have put forth an unusual positive portrayal of a switch!)

Offline Ingenue

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Re: 50 shades - who's going?
« Reply #74 on: December 13, 2015, 08:53:30 PM »
Nooooooooooooooooo because his dom was female which is unnatural and evil so she filled him with EVIL VAG HYPNOSIS and that's why he has convenient pseudo PTSD flashbacks when he wants to manipulate people into things
I gave someone rep a sloppy beej last night ~Ray, "correcting" southernbelle's post
You girls are post-ethical. ~AdamWantsYou
But then again, if there is anyone here who can tell you that you do not control the nickname you get saddled with it would be me ~the savage

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