Dearest Militant Petgirl,
I have a problem and I don't know how to address it with my Master. The truth is, I really don't care for milk. Never have. I know it's strange for me not to like milk, but I just don't. I've tried to show him by playing with it more than drinking it, spilling it on the floor, or leaving a lot left over in my bowl, but he isn't catching on and thinks I'm simply being cute. Yesterday he came home with a new, great big, milk bowl that he's so proud of, and I don't know what to do. I'm worried if I tell him, it will hurt his feelings or he'll get angry with me. He is a wonderful owner and dresses me in pretty red bows, which is my favorite color, he plays with me, and never makes me worry that he won't come home after a long day. He's perfect and I love him so much. So how do I tell him that there is indeed one thing he's doing that I don't like?