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Offline RayPistonprowl

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The "What the ACTUAL FUCK?!" thread
« on: October 06, 2014, 06:07:58 AM »
Herein lies a thread specifically for shit that makes you say, "What the ACTUAL FUCK was THAT?!"  :wtf: Enjoy.

For starters...



How a cracked.com article (don't go there unless you're prepared to spend hours link-surfing, trust me on this) describes it:

The commercial starts off with a little boy sitting in the kitchen. His attractive-in-a-borderline-unhinged-kind-of-way mother prepares something at the counter. Suddenly the little tyke looks up and calls to her. He says, "Can you sock me please?" And here's where it turns ugly: the kid has an unidentifiable accent coupled with a slight speech impediment, causing the resulting phrase to sound far worse than it already is. The mother walks over to him, tells him he's cute, then kneels down, her head going out of shot.

Then we see -- ha ha! -- his mother was only putting on his socks for him. Why, we were so wrong to assume the worst here. You got us, Burlington Socks.

Except wait, no -- "Can you sock me please?" is not a phrase that people say, and there's no damn speech impediment we've ever heard of that turns a soft "o" sound into a "u." This whole scenario was artificially engineered for the blowjob joke. And if you find yourself building an elaborate, Mousetrap-like setup to shoehorn child molestation into your sock commercial, maybe child molestation just wasn't meant to be this time, hey?
« Last Edit: October 24, 2015, 04:39:22 PM by RayPistonprowl »
One of the sales clerks turned out to be a pegasister. She noticed me buying ponies and started nattering about which ones she had and we both agreed Luna is best princess and then we brohoofed. -Trill
The rape and abuse is a feature, not a bug. -the savage
I need your body. Alive would suffice. -Ingenue, to me
Fucking Fuck Bollocking Piss Flap Beef Curtain Cheesy Knob Head Cunting Dog shit... -wetslut
Ever take a shit that felt like a car crash? -Conrad

Offline Mr Nice Guy

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Re: The "What the ACTUAL FUCK?!" thread
« Reply #1 on: October 06, 2014, 06:14:25 AM »
 :O  :O   :O
(Whilst remembering the setup in case it ever proves useful in an adult setting)

Offline RayPistonprowl

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Re: The "What the ACTUAL FUCK?!" thread
« Reply #2 on: October 06, 2014, 06:24:29 AM »
« Last Edit: October 24, 2015, 04:39:49 PM by RayPistonprowl »
One of the sales clerks turned out to be a pegasister. She noticed me buying ponies and started nattering about which ones she had and we both agreed Luna is best princess and then we brohoofed. -Trill
The rape and abuse is a feature, not a bug. -the savage
I need your body. Alive would suffice. -Ingenue, to me
Fucking Fuck Bollocking Piss Flap Beef Curtain Cheesy Knob Head Cunting Dog shit... -wetslut
Ever take a shit that felt like a car crash? -Conrad

Offline RayPistonprowl

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Re: The "What the ACTUAL FUCK?!" thread
« Reply #3 on: October 06, 2014, 06:30:06 AM »
An oldie but a goodie.

« Last Edit: October 24, 2015, 04:39:59 PM by RayPistonprowl »
One of the sales clerks turned out to be a pegasister. She noticed me buying ponies and started nattering about which ones she had and we both agreed Luna is best princess and then we brohoofed. -Trill
The rape and abuse is a feature, not a bug. -the savage
I need your body. Alive would suffice. -Ingenue, to me
Fucking Fuck Bollocking Piss Flap Beef Curtain Cheesy Knob Head Cunting Dog shit... -wetslut
Ever take a shit that felt like a car crash? -Conrad

Offline RayPistonprowl

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Re: The "What the ACTUAL FUCK?!" thread
« Reply #4 on: October 06, 2014, 06:36:03 AM »
 An even older oldie but goodie: 1991's Rap Against Rape

« Last Edit: October 24, 2015, 04:40:08 PM by RayPistonprowl »
One of the sales clerks turned out to be a pegasister. She noticed me buying ponies and started nattering about which ones she had and we both agreed Luna is best princess and then we brohoofed. -Trill
The rape and abuse is a feature, not a bug. -the savage
I need your body. Alive would suffice. -Ingenue, to me
Fucking Fuck Bollocking Piss Flap Beef Curtain Cheesy Knob Head Cunting Dog shit... -wetslut
Ever take a shit that felt like a car crash? -Conrad

Offline RayPistonprowl

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Re: The "What the ACTUAL FUCK?!" thread
« Reply #5 on: October 06, 2014, 06:41:55 AM »
This just gets weirder and weirder.

« Last Edit: October 24, 2015, 04:40:16 PM by RayPistonprowl »
One of the sales clerks turned out to be a pegasister. She noticed me buying ponies and started nattering about which ones she had and we both agreed Luna is best princess and then we brohoofed. -Trill
The rape and abuse is a feature, not a bug. -the savage
I need your body. Alive would suffice. -Ingenue, to me
Fucking Fuck Bollocking Piss Flap Beef Curtain Cheesy Knob Head Cunting Dog shit... -wetslut
Ever take a shit that felt like a car crash? -Conrad

Offline RayPistonprowl

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Re: The "What the ACTUAL FUCK?!" thread
« Reply #6 on: October 06, 2014, 07:07:54 AM »
This one is marked 'adult' so you have to sign into youtube to verify your age. It's been around a while but in case your eyes haven't bled enough...

« Last Edit: October 24, 2015, 04:40:24 PM by RayPistonprowl »
One of the sales clerks turned out to be a pegasister. She noticed me buying ponies and started nattering about which ones she had and we both agreed Luna is best princess and then we brohoofed. -Trill
The rape and abuse is a feature, not a bug. -the savage
I need your body. Alive would suffice. -Ingenue, to me
Fucking Fuck Bollocking Piss Flap Beef Curtain Cheesy Knob Head Cunting Dog shit... -wetslut
Ever take a shit that felt like a car crash? -Conrad

Offline RayPistonprowl

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Re: The "What the ACTUAL FUCK?!" thread
« Reply #7 on: October 06, 2014, 07:09:12 AM »
One of the sales clerks turned out to be a pegasister. She noticed me buying ponies and started nattering about which ones she had and we both agreed Luna is best princess and then we brohoofed. -Trill
The rape and abuse is a feature, not a bug. -the savage
I need your body. Alive would suffice. -Ingenue, to me
Fucking Fuck Bollocking Piss Flap Beef Curtain Cheesy Knob Head Cunting Dog shit... -wetslut
Ever take a shit that felt like a car crash? -Conrad

Offline RayPistonprowl

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Re: The "What the ACTUAL FUCK?!" thread
« Reply #8 on: October 06, 2014, 07:10:08 AM »
One of the sales clerks turned out to be a pegasister. She noticed me buying ponies and started nattering about which ones she had and we both agreed Luna is best princess and then we brohoofed. -Trill
The rape and abuse is a feature, not a bug. -the savage
I need your body. Alive would suffice. -Ingenue, to me
Fucking Fuck Bollocking Piss Flap Beef Curtain Cheesy Knob Head Cunting Dog shit... -wetslut
Ever take a shit that felt like a car crash? -Conrad

Offline RayPistonprowl

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Re: The "What the ACTUAL FUCK?!" thread
« Reply #9 on: October 06, 2014, 07:11:05 AM »
One of the sales clerks turned out to be a pegasister. She noticed me buying ponies and started nattering about which ones she had and we both agreed Luna is best princess and then we brohoofed. -Trill
The rape and abuse is a feature, not a bug. -the savage
I need your body. Alive would suffice. -Ingenue, to me
Fucking Fuck Bollocking Piss Flap Beef Curtain Cheesy Knob Head Cunting Dog shit... -wetslut
Ever take a shit that felt like a car crash? -Conrad

Offline RayPistonprowl

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Re: The "What the ACTUAL FUCK?!" thread
« Reply #10 on: October 06, 2014, 07:19:11 AM »
« Last Edit: October 24, 2015, 04:40:42 PM by RayPistonprowl »
One of the sales clerks turned out to be a pegasister. She noticed me buying ponies and started nattering about which ones she had and we both agreed Luna is best princess and then we brohoofed. -Trill
The rape and abuse is a feature, not a bug. -the savage
I need your body. Alive would suffice. -Ingenue, to me
Fucking Fuck Bollocking Piss Flap Beef Curtain Cheesy Knob Head Cunting Dog shit... -wetslut
Ever take a shit that felt like a car crash? -Conrad

Offline RayPistonprowl

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Re: The "What the ACTUAL FUCK?!" thread
« Reply #11 on: October 06, 2014, 07:21:40 AM »
« Last Edit: October 24, 2015, 04:40:50 PM by RayPistonprowl »
One of the sales clerks turned out to be a pegasister. She noticed me buying ponies and started nattering about which ones she had and we both agreed Luna is best princess and then we brohoofed. -Trill
The rape and abuse is a feature, not a bug. -the savage
I need your body. Alive would suffice. -Ingenue, to me
Fucking Fuck Bollocking Piss Flap Beef Curtain Cheesy Knob Head Cunting Dog shit... -wetslut
Ever take a shit that felt like a car crash? -Conrad

Offline RayPistonprowl

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Re: The "What the ACTUAL FUCK?!" thread
« Reply #12 on: October 06, 2014, 07:24:29 AM »
« Last Edit: October 24, 2015, 04:40:58 PM by RayPistonprowl »
One of the sales clerks turned out to be a pegasister. She noticed me buying ponies and started nattering about which ones she had and we both agreed Luna is best princess and then we brohoofed. -Trill
The rape and abuse is a feature, not a bug. -the savage
I need your body. Alive would suffice. -Ingenue, to me
Fucking Fuck Bollocking Piss Flap Beef Curtain Cheesy Knob Head Cunting Dog shit... -wetslut
Ever take a shit that felt like a car crash? -Conrad

Offline RayPistonprowl

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Re: The "What the ACTUAL FUCK?!" thread
« Reply #13 on: October 06, 2014, 07:30:01 AM »
This song topped the music charts in Europe in the 80s, maybe a few of you remember it. But the video ... WHAT THE FICKETY FUCK !?

« Last Edit: October 24, 2015, 04:41:06 PM by RayPistonprowl »
One of the sales clerks turned out to be a pegasister. She noticed me buying ponies and started nattering about which ones she had and we both agreed Luna is best princess and then we brohoofed. -Trill
The rape and abuse is a feature, not a bug. -the savage
I need your body. Alive would suffice. -Ingenue, to me
Fucking Fuck Bollocking Piss Flap Beef Curtain Cheesy Knob Head Cunting Dog shit... -wetslut
Ever take a shit that felt like a car crash? -Conrad

Offline Itsjustadream

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Re: The "What the ACTUAL FUCK?!" thread
« Reply #14 on: October 06, 2014, 07:33:17 AM »
An oldie but a goodie.



This is and always will be genius.
« Last Edit: October 24, 2015, 04:41:17 PM by RayPistonprowl »
I've had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn't it.

 

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