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Author Topic: Shame about fantasies  (Read 2770 times)

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Offline girlie00

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Re: Shame about fantasies
« Reply #30 on: September 11, 2019, 08:14:30 PM »
Yes, extreme guilt from time to time.

I was raped before, years ago. It wasn't brutal and although really affected me back then, it doesn't at all today. I kind of have the attitude of "ohhh boy back in my drunken college days I was always up to no good".

The reason I feel bad about my fantasies now is more recently in my career we had to prepare a young girl who was actually raped and murdered. That weighed so heavily on me and I didn't come on here for a year or more afterward. Sometimes I'll think about her and feel gross with myself and take a break.

Offline zero

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Re: Shame about fantasies
« Reply #31 on: September 15, 2019, 12:57:52 AM »
@girlie00 yeah that's legit it's hard sometimes to keep this kind of thing going on when you get a reminder about the reality of it

Also I don't mean to overstep my bounds or nothing but "I was always no good back in my drunken college days" seems like you're...idk kinda putting what happened to you on yourself? And you know you shouldn't do that don't matter how drunk or crazy you got, it wasn't your fault
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Offline girlie00

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Re: Shame about fantasies
« Reply #32 on: September 15, 2019, 11:23:50 AM »
@girlie00 yeah that's legit it's hard sometimes to keep this kind of thing going on when you get a reminder about the reality of it

Also I don't mean to overstep my bounds or nothing but "I was always no good back in my drunken college days" seems like you're...idk kinda putting what happened to you on yourself? And you know you shouldn't do that don't matter how drunk or crazy you got, it wasn't your fault

Yeah, it's easy bought not to really think about or dwell on the news when you hear of terrible things. Actually seeing it first hand was heart breaking!

Yeah maybe that wasn't the best wording but truly I guess you had to know me back then lol. I don't actually think anything was my fault. Unpopular opinion maybe but I do think it's wise not to put yourself in the centre of dangerous situations. You're not asking for anything of course, but the chances of something happening are increased.

Offline zero

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Re: Shame about fantasies
« Reply #33 on: September 15, 2019, 03:11:57 PM »
I mean I don't think it's necessarily an unpopular opinion, like we all warn our loved ones about college parties and keeping people who care close to you and having a safe way out and watching your drink and stuff like that, it's just useless to think about that stuff after it's already happened, y'know?
That woman deserves her revenge. And we deserve to die.

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Offline apexslaver

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Re: Shame about fantasies
« Reply #34 on: March 14, 2020, 12:18:55 PM »
Around 7th grade when I first discovered the fetish I felt extreme guilt because I fantasized about forcing my classmates but at the same time I wouldn't want such a despicable thing did to my mom or sister and all of these women are someone's daughter or sister. I started feeling better when I made an xvideos and DeviantArt account and chatted with a lot of ladies that had the same fantasies. This forum played a huge role too.

Offline RayPistonprowl

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Re: Shame about fantasies
« Reply #35 on: March 27, 2020, 02:41:11 AM »
This forum played a huge role too.

@apexslaver Happy to hear it! We do seek to educate those who are confused by what they feel so that they are better able to process those complex feelings AND ENJOY THEM!

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Offline sickpup1957

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Re: Shame about fantasies
« Reply #36 on: May 28, 2020, 09:40:23 PM »
Yes for me I found myself thinking I was messed up in the head, I mean I have to be right ? Then I stated to ask myself how many other “normal “ people had the same feels ? This site and other help me see that dark fantasies are ok, acting them out, against real people, not Ok !No body has ever been harmed by thoughts in my mind. Finding someone to willingly share those thoughts is fun. But I know like the rest of us here, nobody has the right to harm anyone else in real life. That’s just my answer for what it’s worth.

Offline RayPistonprowl

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Re: Shame about fantasies
« Reply #37 on: June 05, 2020, 02:39:28 AM »
Yes for me I found myself thinking I was messed up in the head, I mean I have to be right ? Then I stated to ask myself how many other “normal “ people had the same feels ? This site and other help me see that dark fantasies are ok, acting them out, against real people, not Ok !No body has ever been harmed by thoughts in my mind. Finding someone to willingly share those thoughts is fun. But I know like the rest of us here, nobody has the right to harm anyone else in real life. That’s just my answer for what it’s worth.

@sickpup1957 :welcome: I'm a site owner and admin. We welcome all sorts, and all sorts of questions.

Re: acting rape fantasies out against real people: The key is consent. My dearly beloved enjoys a spot of rape fantasy, so long as SHE controls it/me. I engage knowing her limits; please study BDSM, as Rape Fantasy is best envisioned as a subset of BDSM. I am pleased you know this already, and hope you'll be more vocal here.

Don't hurt him too much, especially his face. I want to use it as my throne at some point. -cosmicwitch
If I ever have a punk band with just two members, I'm calling it "Anal Pear". -kittyumbrass
Nature abhors a vacuum, so if you present us with a hole we're going to try to fill it. For nature's sake. -SoftGameHunter
My strap on is also hung like Ron Jeremy's ponysona and will totes raep your ankle. -Ingenue

Offline Misty

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Re: Shame about fantasies
« Reply #38 on: March 05, 2021, 06:54:18 AM »
So once again. Some poor woman commits suicide triggered from flashbacks of being horrifically gang raped, while I happily touch myself to the fantasy of that very thing.

God I hate myself sometimes. I read about stuff like that happening and just feel disgusted with myself.
Good girls like to sin.

Online acidredux

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Re: Shame about fantasies
« Reply #39 on: March 05, 2021, 02:07:23 PM »
So once again. Some poor woman commits suicide triggered from flashbacks of being horrifically gang raped, while I happily touch myself to the fantasy of that very thing.

God I hate myself sometimes. I read about stuff like that happening and just feel disgusted with myself.

@Misty It is a dilemma for caring, empathetic people to have such fantasies. Your empathy speaks well of you as a person. Try not to get too down on yourself, and remember that it is your actual conduct in real life situations that is important; that, and keeping lines between fantasy and reality clear.

Offline Misty

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Re: Shame about fantasies
« Reply #40 on: March 06, 2021, 09:49:49 PM »
So once again. Some poor woman commits suicide triggered from flashbacks of being horrifically gang raped, while I happily touch myself to the fantasy of that very thing.

God I hate myself sometimes. I read about stuff like that happening and just feel disgusted with myself.

@Misty It is a dilemma for caring, empathetic people to have such fantasies. Your empathy speaks well of you as a person. Try not to get too down on yourself, and remember that it is your actual conduct in real life situations that is important; that, and keeping lines between fantasy and reality clear.

Thanks. You're right. And most of the time I'm fine. Just every now and then something happens irl and it's harder to enjoy that particular fantasy for a while. Also I think empathy is the utmost important trait a human being can have.
« Last Edit: March 07, 2021, 12:52:46 AM by Misty »
Good girls like to sin.

Offline Carlosdevil

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Re: Shame about fantasies
« Reply #41 on: March 06, 2021, 10:57:30 PM »
@misty I completely understand how you feel. It's difficult knowing just how enormously shattering rape actually is, how it destroys lives and leaves those who experience it changed forever. It can be very hard not to feel guilty about having fantasies about it. Lord knows I often do.

But the things to remember are these: you're not actually fantasizing that some poor innocent suffers this ordeal; I assume you are fantasizing that you are the victim of a gang rape. Likewise for myself, I'm not fantasizing about harming another human being; I get off on the pleasure she receives however unwillingly.

As you point out, empathy is a necessary trait for good people.  None of us want bad things to happen to anyone. But when I fantasize about raping you (and I do), it's not about hurting you or wrecking your self-esteem. It's about forcing pleasure on you that you otherwise wouldn't allow yourself to take. I hope this makes some sense.
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