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Author Topic: Shame about fantasies  (Read 5323 times)

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Offline Aletessa

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Re: Shame about fantasies
« Reply #45 on: July 30, 2021, 02:41:36 PM »
Yes, sometimes I'm afraid that my fantasies are making light of the real thing.  I can tell myself that it's like the horror story impulse, experiencing something frightening in a safe environment; it's true, but does that make it any less of an excuse?

Offline Trill

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Re: Shame about fantasies
« Reply #46 on: July 31, 2021, 06:53:39 AM »
Yes, it does make it less of an excuse. You're not getting off to the pain and suffering of a real victim, you're getting off to something imaginary.
That's not quite the Roddenberry vision of the Federation, but I can live with it. - SoftGameHunter
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Offline HistBuff

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Re: Shame about fantasies
« Reply #47 on: August 17, 2021, 06:45:09 PM »
For the longest time I was afraid of my rape fantasies and felt deeply ashamed.

Simply picturing myself having consensual sex with my arts teacher while I watched her giving her instructions to the class was enough to fill me with guilt. I was 13.

Due to its military nature, my first rape fantasy involving Islamic troops raping an entire castle of noble ladies was too distant from my real life to be as guilt-inducing; I still felt ashamed of it.

That was long before I found out I wasn't alone and realized having rape fantasies doesn't make a rapist out of me, not any more than a girl with a rape fantasy actually wishes to be raped for real.

I wish I had been more open with my then-girlfriends about this. We could have played out some of them fantasies!

******************
Nowadays, I rarely feel overly ashamed of my rape fantasies, knowing it's part of my human self.

I may feel some shame when picturing an army of foreign soldiers storming the office where I work and raping my cute coworkers, because these images are a lot closer to my real life. It is somewhat guilt-inducing, but terribly arousing! Just picturing them having their clothes violently torn off, their intimate nakedness brutally revealed and then getting gang-fucked -- sexy little feet, perky breasts and all... -- by successive hostile Muslim men right on their desks... Incredibly, shamefully arousing!
My fantasies have many lights and shadows. Link to my other works-- https://www.rapecage.com/forum/index.php/topic,8601.0.html

Offline Montano86

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Re: Shame about fantasies
« Reply #48 on: August 19, 2021, 04:31:52 PM »
I did the first time my ex wanted me to help her relive one of her experiences and it just felt wrong to me at the time i was in my teens and hadn't had a lot of experience yet with a lot of things in life

Offline Enduring Anhedonia

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Re: Shame about fantasies
« Reply #49 on: September 27, 2021, 07:51:46 AM »
I've had rape fantasies really since I was 5 years old and didn't even know what sex was. The guilt has kind of wrecked my life to some degree. I'm 30 now and have never been in a real relationship and don't have much sexual experience because it has messed with me so much. I'm starting to get to a better place in life I think and I'm hoping a lot of this will change but man it has done some damage.

Offline dc69

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Re: Shame about fantasies
« Reply #50 on: November 24, 2021, 07:13:45 PM »
The majority of people fantasise about rape.

If you're here, you're just more honest than most.

Our primitive brains yearn to impregnate or be impregnated, whether the other party wants it or not.

The wierdos are the ones that DON'T fantasise about rape.

Offline PrincessJenn

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Re: Shame about fantasies
« Reply #51 on: December 04, 2021, 10:53:20 AM »
I did struggle with it at first, after it happened to me

but I've come to accept that this topic has a very...very deep effect in me and to try and embrace it as best I can

Offline PsychoTheRapist

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Re: Shame about fantasies
« Reply #52 on: December 16, 2021, 03:20:05 PM »
Guilt all the damn time. Although this page and you fine folks have helped immensely.

Statistics show 5 out of 6 people enjoy gang rape.

Offline One2Explore

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Re: Shame about fantasies
« Reply #53 on: December 16, 2021, 04:14:57 PM »
This is a complex subject and is too important to minimize. It’s one thing for someone to have rape fantasies without real life experiences/trauma. It’s a completely different story for many of those who have endured real life trauma.

Shame is associated with a lack of understanding. Once you gain knowledge you have a better understanding. If your knowledge brings you to rationalization shame can be greatly reduced or eliminated.

Knowledge on your own experiences and feelings (introspection) provides personal understanding. Knowledge of the physiological processes and events taking place in some individuals’ minds and bodies, most likely those reading this message, provides a vey worthy type of understanding. Examining these two components in detail have helped me understand me.

However, unlike some friends I have, my kinks are not rooted in trauma. What I’ve learned from them is the psychological dimension creates a complex cocktail from which one sips. Often times PTSD and BPD are part of experience. Utilizing a good therapist over time is golden and there’s no shame in utilizing one.

Let’s not generalize or assume non-trauma based shame is comparable to trauma based shame.
« Last Edit: December 16, 2021, 04:18:30 PM by One2Explore »

 

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