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Author Topic: The Ballad of Jack and Harlene  (Read 85 times)

Offline Swashbuckler

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The Ballad of Jack and Harlene
« on: May 13, 2019, 04:14:29 AM »


{female voice over [left ear]}   He loves me
{male voice over [right ear]}   HAHAHAHHAhahhahaha
{female voice over [left ear]}  He loves me not
{male voice over [right ear]}   Hehhehehe, Love’s a bad joke…, baby
{female voice over [center or both ears]}  Ah, puddin’, all the old songs say that love is a crazy little thing…
{ominous intro building}

Jack was born long, long ago
In a boxcar of a travelin’ show
Already runnin’ from the law
No daddy, just him and Ma

Jack was raised on magic tricks
Throwin’ knives and lock picks
Ol’ vaudevillian quips and jokes
And cruelty whenever he spoke

A bad seed, restless weed
Narcissist with a sadistic streak
Led him to the shady streets
A dark path with no retreat

Jack turned twenty-one in prison
When Harlene had just become
Little girl with blonde pigtails
A gymnast who never failed

She got straight A’s in school
Never broke a single rule
Sought in vain her daddy’s love
She just needed a little shove

Harlene grew up to be a doctor
Youngest ever in the cu-koo’s locker
She came to heal the mind
And mad Jack was just doin’ time

They warned her not to listen
But his honeyed words began to glisten
Love’s a crazy little thing
But what a nightmare it can bring

Come on puddin’
We’re gonna make a
J-A-I-L-Break!
{Alarm Bells}

A Knave of Spades, Queen of Hearts
Candle and moth, helluva spark
Together like a match and gasoline
The wild ride of Jack and Harlene

With teardrops and laughter
A crime wave disaster
They were bedlam in the sheets
And mayhem in the streets

Jack would crack a joke
And give her a backhand stroke
He had madcap schemes
And he had Harlene

Bruce shouted through the town
‘Why the hell are you with that clown?!?’
While Ivy wept tears of cyanide
And Jack tanned Harlene’s hide

{female voice over}  Wanna rev up your Harley…, puddin’?
{four gunshots / roar of a motor bike / police siren}
{maniacal laugh}  HAHahahahahha

A little like Robin and Marion
A bit more like dominance and submiss-eon
Co-dependant Bonnie and Clyde
A love affair by suicide
Almost Napolean and Josephine
Mad, Mad Jack and poor Harlene
Lit match and gas-o-line
Lit match and gas-o-line

They only see him laughing
They only see her tears
She only sees him crying
She’s the only one with no fears

So paint on a tear for Harlene
And a smile wicked keen
Like all Love
Destined to end…, Badly
But if you love, Love Madly!---

They only hear him laugh
I only hear him cry
HAhahahHAhahha
Oh puddin’….
{fade out}
{female voice over right}  He loves me
{male voice left}  Love’s a bad joke
{female voice right}   He loves me not
{male left}  The joke’s on you

{Reprise Chorus}
A little like Robin and Marion
A bit more like dominance and submiss-eon
Co-dependant Bonnie and Clyde
A love affair by suicide
Almost Napolean and Josephine
Mad, Mad Jack and poor Harlene
Lit match and gas-o-line
Lit match and gas-o-line
Lit match and gas-o-line
Oh puddin’….
Hahahahahaha
Ain’t love a crazy little thing?
{Explosion} / abrupt end


~Swash~
« Last Edit: May 13, 2019, 04:16:53 AM by Swashbuckler »
If you are about to enter a conversation that can only end in a sabre stroke or a pistol shot; you should choose your next words very carefully.  They will be your last.  ~Swash~

 

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