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Author Topic: My Journey of Suicide.  (Read 977 times)

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Offline RayPistonprowl

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Re: My Journey of Suicide.
« Reply #15 on: June 06, 2019, 01:36:22 AM »
Been there, @archon1980

Ring 999 or 911, sod geometry distilled to you.

Ring.

Don't hurt him too much, especially his face. I want to use it as my throne at some point. -cosmicwitch
If I ever have a punk band with just two members, I'm calling it "Anal Pear". -kittyumbrass
Nature abhors a vacuum, so if you present us with a hole we're going to try to fill it. For nature's sake. -SoftGameHunter
My strap on is also hung like Ron Jeremy's ponysona and will totes raep your ankle. -Ingenue

Offline archon1980

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Re: My Journey of Suicide.
« Reply #16 on: June 08, 2019, 05:34:26 PM »
Sometimes it feels like the darkness and pain won’t ever go away.  It can hurt for a long time, but things will get better.  I promise you that it will.  The pain may never go away but it will be better.  It may not feel like it, but it will get better. 
"When you can't run, you crawl, when you can't crawl, find someone to carry you." Firefly

Offline FoeChristina

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Re: My Journey of Suicide.
« Reply #17 on: July 16, 2019, 10:04:09 PM »
I've struggled with things like this in my life too. About five years ago I was diagnosed as bi-polar (I'm 39 now) but I've been struggling with it since I was 8. I had a major psychotic break when I was 8 but they didn't have mental support for children back in the '80's. That was the first time I contemplated suicide. Then I was diagnosed with postpartum depression after I had my children. My doctor recommended that I go off of my medication after my children got older and I got really depressed so I tried to self-medicate with opiates. When I got clean I sought professional help and that's when I got diagnosed as bi-polar. Since then I've been stable and more aware of my mood swings. I even managed to get through the death of my father without any suicidal thoughts.

I can't stress getting help enough. We just can't do it alone.
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Offline RayPistonprowl

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Re: My Journey of Suicide.
« Reply #18 on: July 17, 2019, 02:09:22 AM »
@FoeChristina Your input is invaluable. Thanks.

I'm an older chap. I grew up in a time when men didn't discuss emotions. If you admitted to having them, you were a bloody molly. My own father epitomised this attitude and passed it on to me; he sought solace in alcohol which put him in an early grave.

If you're in pain, it's important to drown out the noise and seek out wot works. Wot works is a good therapist and/or psychiatrist. It may feel touchy-feely and silly, but bear with it. Professional therapists can guide you through the pain. And a good psychiatrist can prescribe drugs that you may have needed all your bloody life bc you lack some chemical in your brain. There isn't a simple test indicating which chemical you need to sort your shit, so your doctor may need to experiment until they find the right one, but the right one can be life-changing. Just trust that your life has value, and seek the right professional who can treat you. You're worth it -- once you accept this touchy-feely shite. Step One is accepting that feelings, which you've been taught by misogynistic cunts is feminine, have value, and great value at that. So sod misogyny and accept that women have value, and their feelings do as well. Therein lies the first step to loving yourself and accepting therapy, a field dominated by the best female minds in the world.

Don't hurt him too much, especially his face. I want to use it as my throne at some point. -cosmicwitch
If I ever have a punk band with just two members, I'm calling it "Anal Pear". -kittyumbrass
Nature abhors a vacuum, so if you present us with a hole we're going to try to fill it. For nature's sake. -SoftGameHunter
My strap on is also hung like Ron Jeremy's ponysona and will totes raep your ankle. -Ingenue

Offline Little lost girl

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Re: My Journey of Suicide.
« Reply #19 on: December 05, 2019, 12:17:27 AM »
I’m grateful that you didn’t go over that edge. And that you called, and that you texted, and that you and I are still here. In case you haven’t noticed I need you just as much and you need me most days. I don’t think that’s an accident. :hug:
Edward Walker: The world moves for love. It kneels before it in awe.

Offline RayPistonprowl

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Re: My Journey of Suicide.
« Reply #20 on: December 16, 2019, 04:06:27 AM »
@FoeChristina @Little lost girl Patience. The world of people who love you is vast. Never, never forget that, and always be brave enough to venture a toe into the ether searching for someone in similar pain. We're with you.

Don't hurt him too much, especially his face. I want to use it as my throne at some point. -cosmicwitch
If I ever have a punk band with just two members, I'm calling it "Anal Pear". -kittyumbrass
Nature abhors a vacuum, so if you present us with a hole we're going to try to fill it. For nature's sake. -SoftGameHunter
My strap on is also hung like Ron Jeremy's ponysona and will totes raep your ankle. -Ingenue

Offline wrigglingbeauty

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Re: My Journey of Suicide.
« Reply #21 on: December 17, 2019, 06:20:39 PM »
Hold on to what you can @archon1980 we want you to stay with us.

Offline berenika

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Re: My Journey of Suicide.
« Reply #22 on: October 04, 2020, 10:06:06 AM »
I'm sorry this is happening to you. You deserve the warmth and sunshine. The pain will decrease.

Offline Little99S

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Re: My Journey of Suicide.
« Reply #23 on: November 19, 2020, 01:46:15 PM »
Just another small voice to say thank you for discussing openly here, archon1980, FoeChristina, RayPistonProwl, darkfantasygirl, beater... I don't know what complications cornered you or what you must be facing but I also feel how sometimes clouds get so dark you can't see any light anymore. And they seem to go in cycles but they don't go away... 

Jumping off my balcony seemed so tempting for weeks before, knowing ingestion or cutting success rates are low....  Last night, I had dreamt I tried but failed somehow and fell on some rocks right below my ledge...  my kids were with me and were lost and ended up found by some food court manager who called my work phone....  my husband couldn't have known where they were if I somehow didn't fail and had my work phone on me for some reason...  Woke up bawling and couldn't stop hugging them this morning before school, feeling like some crazy cat lady...   for now, woke me up to how I'll hurt others and have pushed away some clouds for now but I've been there on just near the edge.   

I don't know how but want to send all of you facing The Dark my love. You are never alone and there are people are listening, even here. I hope you are all safe wherever this finds you.
« Last Edit: November 19, 2020, 01:57:42 PM by Little99S »

Offline Anonymouse

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Re: My Journey of Suicide.
« Reply #24 on: November 20, 2020, 05:33:08 AM »
Just another small voice to say thank you for discussing openly here, archon1980, FoeChristina, RayPistonProwl, darkfantasygirl, beater... I don't know what complications cornered you or what you must be facing but I also feel how sometimes clouds get so dark you can't see any light anymore. And they seem to go in cycles but they don't go away... 

Jumping off my balcony seemed so tempting for weeks before, knowing ingestion or cutting success rates are low....  Last night, I had dreamt I tried but failed somehow and fell on some rocks right below my ledge...  my kids were with me and were lost and ended up found by some food court manager who called my work phone....  my husband couldn't have known where they were if I somehow didn't fail and had my work phone on me for some reason...  Woke up bawling and couldn't stop hugging them this morning before school, feeling like some crazy cat lady...   for now, woke me up to how I'll hurt others and have pushed away some clouds for now but I've been there on just near the edge.   

I don't know how but want to send all of you facing The Dark my love. You are never alone and there are people are listening, even here. I hope you are all safe wherever this finds you.


I wish there was a more appropriate ‘like’ button for posts like these. Thank you so much for sharing @Little99S


Louise x

 

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