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Author Topic: The Petgirl Sit-Up Comedian  (Read 133 times)

Offline Ingenue

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The Petgirl Sit-Up Comedian
« on: January 11, 2020, 05:48:48 AM »
"Have you ever noticed how masters frick you so goshdarn hard? It's like calm down, buddy, what's your rush, does it turn back into a mouse dong at midnight? Anyway that used to confuse me so hard, and seriously, I'm one of the highest rated puppy breeds for intelligence, which for me translates into overthinking just about goshdarn everything. A master once asked me 'who's a good girl' and I spent the whole afternoon pawing through books on the problem of evil while the librarian raped me. Right? I'm just saying, don't ask open ended questions to a neurotic pup who can and will overanalyze the ingredients on the kibble box. So yeah, masters and their heavy hip action, totally perplexed me, until one day I was killing my squeaky bone. Anyone here got one of those? Nice, a lot of bone biters in the crowd tonight, I can't wait to tell my lionboy friend, he's into that. So there I was, shaking my squeaky toy around and pinning it down with a paw and chewing it until it was deaded, as nature intended, and I thought, you know, maybe masters and petgirls aren't so different, because you leave a master with a petgirl and what does he do? Pound us until we squeak. And I'm like, I drop the toy at this point from the sheer impact of this epiphany: what if we're the bone?"
I like fire. It's like something alive I can murder at my whim, over and over. ~Pookie. Definitely Pookie
"Once there was a lady with boobs" has to be one of the truly great opening lines of this or any century. ~deathie
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Offline RayPistonprowl

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Re: The Petgirl Sit-Up Comedian
« Reply #1 on: January 13, 2020, 01:42:56 AM »
@Ingenue You are the bone. Question answered.

You know what gives me heart? Animal rescues, particularly wildlife. We've shared many a heartwarming vid where a vulnerable wild animal is too weak to fight a human rescuer, so they accept any manner of violation, be it blood, urine, poo, otherwise, so the human can save them. I've found the urge to rescue animals across every spectrum. regardless of country. Worldwide we want to protect the vulnerable, the elderly, the cute. My favourite rescues involve elderly animals, with unnumbered years to live, but immeasurable love from a human caretaker.

I suck. But I stand a hands-length away from a smolpet, ready to encourage play, because my hand on an ear might erase a lifetime of pain.

Don't hurt him too much, especially his face. I want to use it as my throne at some point. -cosmicwitch
If I ever have a punk band with just two members, I'm calling it "Anal Pear". -kittyumbrass
Nature abhors a vacuum, so if you present us with a hole we're going to try to fill it. For nature's sake. -SoftGameHunter
Piers Morgan's being a cunt about something agai- Ah, for fuck sake, Piers Morgan's being a Crunchy Nut Corn Flake about something again. -the_silkman
Brains are sexy in anyone though. And out of anyone, when I preserve them lovingly in windex. :angel: -Ingenue

Offline Ingenue

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Re: The Petgirl Sit-Up Comedian
« Reply #2 on: January 13, 2020, 03:25:08 AM »
That was way deeper than my dumbass petgirl comedian thread warranted. XD :*
I like fire. It's like something alive I can murder at my whim, over and over. ~Pookie. Definitely Pookie
"Once there was a lady with boobs" has to be one of the truly great opening lines of this or any century. ~deathie
You savage ~the savage

Likes and limits on my profile!

Offline RayPistonprowl

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Re: The Petgirl Sit-Up Comedian
« Reply #3 on: January 13, 2020, 05:31:55 PM »
That was way deeper than my dumbass petgirl comedian thread warranted. XD :*

@Ingenue Aye, clearly I need sleep and should delete most of my recent posts. :facepalm: Oh and I should stop watching animal rescue vids. Saw one last night that did me head right in. :cry:

Don't hurt him too much, especially his face. I want to use it as my throne at some point. -cosmicwitch
If I ever have a punk band with just two members, I'm calling it "Anal Pear". -kittyumbrass
Nature abhors a vacuum, so if you present us with a hole we're going to try to fill it. For nature's sake. -SoftGameHunter
Piers Morgan's being a cunt about something agai- Ah, for fuck sake, Piers Morgan's being a Crunchy Nut Corn Flake about something again. -the_silkman
Brains are sexy in anyone though. And out of anyone, when I preserve them lovingly in windex. :angel: -Ingenue

Offline Ingenue

  • Goddess Mistwess Puplord of Hope
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  • Getting raeped by Real Life in non-fun ways
    • Ingy's currently idle Tumblr feat. petgirls, jesters, ponies
Re: The Petgirl Sit-Up Comedian
« Reply #4 on: January 13, 2020, 08:38:24 PM »
@RayPistonprowl Myyyy threat of petting. Mine. *best resource-guarder "NO TAKE ONLY THROW" gwowl*
I like fire. It's like something alive I can murder at my whim, over and over. ~Pookie. Definitely Pookie
"Once there was a lady with boobs" has to be one of the truly great opening lines of this or any century. ~deathie
You savage ~the savage

Likes and limits on my profile!

 

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