I think as lys said the main thing to remember is...It's just a book...fiction not fact.
Is it poorly written?,of course it is...but lets face it,no one is reading it for the literature they're reading it for the sex scenes...people are going to see the film for the sex scenes-and to gape at how gorgeous Jamie Dornan is...
What grates my cheese is that people are going on about how women are suddenly going to be falling over themselves to get in a 'Abusive relationship' after seeing the film or reading the book..that in itself is a slight on women..as though we're that dumb we're all going to go on a hunt for a Christian Grey and not be satisfied sexually or other til we have him-what a load of shit!
Now I'm no expert in BDSM,On RD I fully admit it confused me..I read things and thought...'That can't be right,he's spanked her because she didn't do xyz'-I asked questions,wanted to understand it,and by talking to people in those types of relationships (Like The 'Blues'-remember them?) I began to understand how it worked,that it WASN'T abuse,that the D/S relationship was a lifestyle CHOICE-with BOTH adults consenting,and BOTH gaining emotional and sexual pleasure from it as well as contentment.
I think the person who wrote this blog is at the position I was before I asked questions and began to explore how it all worked,the difference is they haven't asked questions-they've just taken it as an abusive relationship because they were in one and so any spanking,control etc is abusive,they haven't taken the time to understand that some women(and men) ENJOY being spanked,some women(and men) ENJOY having decisions etc made for them,the difference between them and what this blogger is talking about is simple...an abusive relationship is one where you don't give consent,there is no contract,no rules,no guidelines,where you're to frightened to have a voice,where you walk on eggshells afraid of what he or she will do next,where a punishment isn't a spanking and then 'Here's some Advil and orange juice' and a cuddle and aftercare-it's a full on beating and you're left on the floor battered and broken in body and mind,or you're emotionally abused..told you're worthless,ugly,no one else will want you,and certainly in my experience-both.
Of course it's a book and things move at a fast pace,otherwise the thing would be a million pages long,so her arguement that he storms in so quickly is pretty irrelevant,but he lays his cards on the table and says he wants a D/S relationship with her-again in my case that wasn't mentioned!,he didn't want that,what he wanted was to control me and break me,my ex was utterly charming to begin with,on our third date I think it was he took me to Paris for the weekend,he bought me flowers,held doors open for me,behaved like a perfect gentleman for a good few months.
One of the first times he hit me was because I committed the cardinal sin of talking during a tv programme he was watching,he got up,walked over and belted me so hard I saw stars,then sat back down and carried on watching tv like nothing had happened whilst I sat sobbing my heart out in the chair-THAT is abuse,not Christian Grey spanking Ana during a sex scene they've both consented too.
As for the bloggers comments on the 'stalking'-well I wasn't allowed out of the house let alone have a job!,the very few times I was allowed out on my own(such as when I had to get a prescription for him when he was ill)-the mileage on the car was set back to zero and the mileage to and from the house to the doctors checked on the internet to make sure I didn't go anywhere else,I wasn't allowed a debit card or mobile phone,everything was taken away from me,I just existed in that house,whilst he was at work he'd call the house phone frequently-the phone was set to incoming calls only so I couldn't dial out,and if I didn't get to the phone on time because I was on the loo or whatever then god help me later.
So after all my ramblings I think my point is..After being in an abusive relationship myself the Fifty Shades books and film don't sadden me or make me think it's promoting Domestic violence,it's a totally different scenario in my book.
I hope you're ok and don't begin to doubt yourself or question what you like sexually or otherwise,we are who we are,and a fictional character doesn't define us. xx