*Note: I had 14 chapters posted when RD disappeared. All of them are finally posted. My goal is to eventually finish this story, hopefully sooner than later...
I miss my mom. And my dad. It’s been exactly 1 year, 3 months and 18 days since the crash. Since my life changed forever. Gosh, I can’t believe I’ve been living with my brother, Jason, that long already. He’s a 28 year old slug who spends his days sleeping and his nights drinking, partying and gambling. He doesn’t work. He doesn’t have to. Our parents left us a lot of money in the will. Money that I’d gladly give back if I could just spend one more day with them. We’re still living in the house I grew up in. At least with almost 6,000 square feet, he’s a little easier to avoid.
My name is Lily. It was my mom’s favorite flower. I’m 18 and have about 5 more months to go before I graduate; 7 before I can move out forever. I can’t wait. When I leave for college, I’m not looking back. No more babysitting my older brother, cooking, cleaning, picking up after his parties. Basically, no more doing what he tells me to do just because he’s “the authority” (in his words, not mine). And no more harassing comments from his friends when I walk through a room, who if you ask me, just hang out with him for the free ride, not to mention the girls who tend to follow him everywhere he goes. According to Lori and Willa, my two best friends, Jason is hot. I wouldn’t be a very good judge of that. Personally, I find him completely self centered and self serving.
Jason and I have never been particularly close (a 10 year age difference will do that), but we used to hang out more, especially those first few months after the funeral. Now he just yells at me when he needs something, like make him a sandwich or bring him a beer. The hitting that began to accompany such demands started six months ago when his gambling habit went into high gear and he started drinking more. Jason usually hits when he’s drunk, although this last time he simply must have been having a bad day. I guess in hindsight I could have passed him the tv remote control the first time he asked.
Sometimes after he hits me Jason stands there, looking over me for what feels like a little too long. Lingering. Contemplating...something. I keep catching him staring at me, too. It’s beginning to make me feel uncomfortable. At first I thought he was gawking at Willa because I only noticed him doing that when we laid out by the pool, but it’s been happening more frequently lately, even when my friends aren’t with me. It was only a few days ago that I turned around and caught him checking me out from behind with his head cocked to the side. And then yesterday I was standing in the kitchen, talking on the phone when I looked up and saw that he was totally staring at my breasts, zoning out and biting his lip. Ok, so they’ve gotten bigger in the last couple months. Still. I expect it from his friends. Not him.
* * * *
It’s 4:00pm. School’s been out for about an hour and a half. I just got home from my run. My hair is tied back. The dark brown color now looks black on the ends from the sweat. I’m dripping and in need of a glass of water. I can only assume I’m the only one home. It’s quiet. Finally. His friends are always over. It’s nice to have a moment alone.
“Mmmm, lookin’ HOT!” Jason’s friend, Ryan, just walked into the room, startling me. Nice pun, I think to myself sarcastically, rolling my eyes. How original. Had I realized people were over, I would not have stopped for that glass of water in the kitchen and instead gone straight to my room. They must be hanging out down in the other wing.
“So why don’t I ever get to see you this wet?” He’s on the other side of the room and already feels too close. “Need any help drying off? Or I could help you get out of your dirty, wet clothes,” he sneers as he walks toward me.
“You’re disgusting, Ryan.”
“Oh, I know you love it, baby.”
Maybe I liked the attention the first few times, but now it’s just icky, for lack of a better word. All of Jason’s friends make me feel like an object. I hate it when they ogle me. I ignore him and turn to leave the room, heading down the hall toward the back stairs. He catches up with me.
“Hey! Where you goin’?” He darts around me and puts his right arm on the wall so I can’t get by. Without making eye contact I calmly try going around him the other way. He takes a step in the other direction, blocking me.
Finally looking at him, I say “Let me by, Ryan.”
“Now why would I want to do a thing like that?”, he asks as he infringes on my space, pushing me against the wall without actually touching me. Both of his hands now on either side of me as he begins to lean in. He’s smiling, but he doesn’t look kind. I feel my stomach flip and my heart is beating faster. “Why are you in such a rush?”, he asks. I don’t like his tone. His face is so close to mine. I can feel his warm breath. He closes his eyes, leaning in even closer, and takes a deep, audible breath through his nose. Then exhaling, “Aaaahh, you smell so good.” Opening his eyes, he brings his left hand to the neck of my tank top, hooks it with his index finger and starts to pull it open as he looks down my shirt.
“Get OFF!!”, I shout as I shove him away with all of my force, using the wall to exert my weight to break free. He grabs my arm, but I’m able to snatch it away. As I run up the stairs and into my room I can here him calling, “What? I just wanted a little peek.” I hear him laughing to himself just before I slam my door shut. Creep. That’s the first time any of Jason’s friends have ever gotten that physical with me. I should really get a lock put on my door.
* * * *
It’s 7:00pm on Thursday. Lori just dropped me off at home. Lori, Willa and I decided to run to the mall after school to celebrate the start of our 4 day weekend! The teachers have some kind of staff day tomorrow with no students and then Monday is a holiday. Woo hoo!
I walk through the side door, into the kitchen and can tell immediately Jason has a few people over. They’re at the other end of the house and they’re loud. I can hear the crescendos and decrescendos of their laughter. I should call Lori and see if she will turn around and pick me up again.
I ignore my brother’s call. I don’t want to go in there with all of his friends. It’s been almost a week since my encounter with Ryan in the back hall. I’ve run into him twice since that afternoon and he hasn’t said anything. Only smiled and winked.
I’m walking away.
I can hear him coming. Shit. Not enough time to get to the stairs or the side door.
“What, Jason?” I ask as he reaches the entrance of the kitchen.
“Didn’t you hear me calling you?!”
“Yes” I started, “ but..”
“But what??” he interrupts.
“Bitch, when you hear me calling, you answer.”
He’s been drinking.
As he moves forward, I back up and move around the kitchen island, trying to keep a set distance between us without being obvious. I just need to get through the night. He’ll be sober in the morning.
“We need food. Here’s a list. Go pick it up. Oh, and bring back a case of beer, too.”
I know a moment ago I said to myself my goal was to get through the night unscathed, but something lit a fire in me. I am NOT his servant! “You go get your own damn food. I’m not even old enough to buy alcohol anyway!” As soon as it came out of my mouth, I knew I shouldn’t have said anything. Silence. I can still hear the laughter from down the hall. Jason is completely still, but I could see him fuming. I start to brace myself because I know what is coming. In three big steps he closes the space between us. “I’m sorry! I didn’t mean it!”, I try to exclaim before he gets to me. Just as I begin to flinch he strikes me across the face. I use that momentum to turn and make my escape down the back hall. Grabbing the back of my sweater, Jason drags me into the nearest room and shuts the door. Still holding me by the sweater, the material is pulling tightly against my bosom. As I prepare for another blow, I close my eyes, but nothing comes. When I open them, he is staring at my chest and licking his lips. With his left hand he starts to fondle my breasts. Why is he touching me like that?! He’s my brother!! He pushes me up against the laundry machine, still facing him. He comes in real close and says with an eerie calm, “If you can’t do that simple thing for me, then I’ve got something else you can do.” I smell bourbon on his breath. “Fuckin’ get on your knees! Now!” he yells as he hits me on the side of the head with enough force that pushes me to the ground. I’m shaking all over as he stands there, guarding the only exit.
Jason is now unbuckling his belt. I can’t believe this is happening. I just sit there, trembling in shock as he unbuttons his jeans and pulls down the zipper. I can see a bulge growing beneath his boxers. Is this really happening?? He sits down in the nearest chair. He grabs my wrists and pulls my hands toward his crotch. “What are you doing?! No! NOOO!”, I shout at him.
“Touch my cock.”
Tears start to well up in my eyes. “No. Please don’t make me do this,” I beg, noticing it grow harder under that thin layer of cotton with each passing second. “Pleeaase, Jason.”
“Fine. Then you can stick it in your mouth, you slut.” He lets go of my wrists and with one hand he pulls out his penis while grabbing my hair with the other, pulling my face to his dick.
I pinch my lips together and close my eyes as he slaps my face with it. I try to push myself away, but his strength overpowers me. Suddenly he lets go of my hair and pinches my nose shut. Surprised and having not been prepared with a big enough breath, I open my mouth only after a couple seconds, gasping in air. Jason takes that very moment to slide his penis into my mouth and grabs my head harshly with both hands, holding me to the point where his tip was tickling my tonsils. I’m trying not to gag. “Open your eyes and look at me!” he yells. I raise my eyes to make eye contact. Tears are streaming down my face. Deliberately he snarls in a low tone that tells me I have no choice, but to obey, “Don’t you dare use your teeth.”
To be continued.