He's a very stubborn man- he insists talking to me about it is enough, but I told him it wasn't. Since that talk, he's reached out in online veteran support groups and made buddies there, but it seems they all remind each other of combat and trigger flashbacks. He changes the subject when I bring up professional counseling- one time he did tell me the thought scares him, of spilling it to a total stranger.
I told him I've done it with my rape PTSD and it does get easier with each session, but he didn't want to hear it. He believes it's an awful idea.
Actually he used to be a big-time alcoholic in the beginning. Together, once our daughter was born, we've cut back a hell of a lot. Instead of a few pints every single night, we usually share a pint once a week. He doesn't do drugs- well ok in the past 2 months he's smoked a total of 3 small bowls, but nothing intense. Just pot.
I know what some of you will think when I say this- but he truly isn't like this at all when he's normal. He's so loving and puts me and our child first, never lays a hand on me and is my best friend. That's not coming from an abused person trying to convince others she's fine- it really is the truth.
Since the time he beat me up, that was when he decided to join those support groups. But like I said, I swear, they trigger him even more sometimes.....I'll talk to him about counseling. I really need to just stay on his ass about it.
Overall I think it just shames him that he has this side to him. I know it shames him that he did the things he did in the Marines. (Active duty, many many many tours, many killings, following orders and killing innocent people. He despises the things he did.) He was dishonorably discharged once he refused to follow anymore orders. He said all attacks were political or personal vendettas and he'd find out that, while he killed the initial target, innocent women and children would get in the way and the higher-ups just waved them off like they didn't mean anything. He had enough after several years.