I didn't get very far before my eyes rolled, GC. When I got to this crap I stopped reading...
For a very small percentage of dominants, it is their nature. To them, it isn't a game or a role they put on and take off. It's not something that goes away when the computer is turned off or when the play party is over. It is what they are.
Maybe I'll get back to it, but I can only read so much twaddle in a sitting.
You DO realize that when you use words like "crap" and "twaddle" in response to a post, you're probably discouraging people with questions or doubts that don't agree with you, to not post here.
Just saying Ray - your words carry a heavy weight on this board.
I, of course, don't get scared off easily - but I wonder how many others won't oppose you or make the effort to engage in a public conversation when they know that someone like you has such strong opinions about certain subjects.
I am fairly friendly online and will chat to anyone pretty much. I can't tell you the amount of men that want to dabble in this newly popular game and that approach women like me online -
Now, we all could get mad at them when they strike the wrong cord with the wrong words and wrong labels but I figure that doesn't help anyone figure themselves out and that, in my opinion, is one of the great side effects these boards have.
I rather put something like this up here and have a public discussion as to what we agree and disagree on, than scare off all the new guys/gals that just don't really know how to convey their feelings.
As to your point about having issues with his statement about 'being born' one way or the other ...
I understand that we ALL can play roles if we have to or are inclined to do so for our partners, but I would venture to say that ONE or ANOTHER role fits us better just because of the person we are.
I'm NOT saying that dominant humans have to be Dominants and submissive people have to be Submissives, but I DO believe that certain people can NOT play the other role comfortably just because of inert personality traits.
I really think that's all the OP is saying.
You, Ray, have encountered too many asshole Doms in your life I think and it automatically gets your hackles up when someone says something that sounds like its 'natural' to be one way or the other.
To me, being an alpha female is something that comes natural - always has, earliest childhood on. I've tried to be a quiet mouse sometimes (its a game I used to play when we would move (once again) - telling myself that I would be quiet and shy and watch and learn about the people around me before showing my true nature) but truly, I was unable to 'Play' that role for any length of time.
I think the same is true for some people during their sexual play, not everyone is as good an actor as you seem to be when you talk about being able to slip into both the submissive and dominant roles interchangeably - I tried being the Dominant a couple times and while I can pull it off for a while, I don't enjoy it. Ever.
I assume the same is true for some Dominants.
I found the distinction between a 'bottom' and a 'sub' interesting and remember it being an 'aha' moment when I read that for the first time.
Thanks for responding.