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Author Topic: So you THINK you're a Dominant huh?  (Read 6583 times)

Offline RayPistonprowl

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Re: So you THINK you're a Dominant huh?
« Reply #45 on: April 24, 2015, 06:24:18 PM »
I looove making teh mans squirm with happyfrustration :thumbs:

Ingy, all you have to do to make me squirm with happyfrustration is pretend to be dommy and then burst into tears the moment you think you've hurt me.  :spank:  D-:  :cry:
One of the sales clerks turned out to be a pegasister. She noticed me buying ponies and started nattering about which ones she had and we both agreed Luna is best princess and then we brohoofed -Trill
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I feel like that would cut into my counterstrike time though so I'd just sit on the drill while I played with my keyboard instead -Nyx
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Offline Ingenue

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Re: So you THINK you're a Dominant huh?
« Reply #46 on: April 24, 2015, 07:30:11 PM »
I looove making teh mans squirm with happyfrustration :thumbs:

Ingy, all you have to do to make me squirm with happyfrustration is pretend to be dommy and then burst into tears the moment you think you've hurt me.  :spank:  D-:  :cry:

Are you sure? Because I thought all I had to do was

another time I made a Sim that I bricked into a standing-only cell of hell in the backyard and it took him FOREVER to die ~MamaMeadow
Who hasn't done that? ~Trill
But then again, if there is anyone here who can tell you that you do not control the nickname you get saddled with it would be me ~the savage

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Offline Vex Malleus

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Re: So you THINK you're a Dominant huh?
« Reply #47 on: April 24, 2015, 07:34:33 PM »
You mean let us do that to YOU!  I'll start, after I flog your ass a bit.  :D
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Offline The Demented Wizard

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Re: So you THINK you're a Dominant huh?
« Reply #48 on: April 30, 2015, 06:38:45 AM »
Okay....so I've read all the replies on this topic and I would like to weigh in, in order to stir the pot further I suppose. 
 

Philosophically,  isnt being that which you are behind closed doors more who you really are?  People put on fake faces and phony smiles in real life all the time.  Isn't that acting or playing?  I roleplay as a rapist, because well, common decency and laws prohibit me from being other.  It is a fantasy role that I enjoy playing as it feeds my insatiable hunger to use a woman how I choose.  However, being a Dom isn't a role for me.
 
Not everything I do is a role.  I am a Dom, a Daddy Dom.  Yes I know, subdivisions of the standard Dom/Top sub/bottom irritate some of you, but its who I am....all the time.  I have a dominant personality and the ONLY time I am playing a role, is when I subdue that for various reasons.  It could be to contain or lessen an argument or a fight, to try and come to an agreement that doesn't involve me flipping out completely, or to make someone feel more at ease.  Those are roles for me because I am more comfortable being very forward and upfront, open and painfully honest about things.  I have always been this way and it has gotten me into trouble as a youth trying to find my way in life...and still does at times as an adult. 

I don't walk around acting like a Domly Dom Dom....but I am a natural "Dom" in my personal life. I take charge of projects no one wants at work, I oversee a group of people and give them direction, I have helped push various people to get themselves back on track various ways. People look to me to solve things, in every physical, emotional, and mental way imaginable.  This flies in the face of the notion that people tend to play a role opposite of who they are as an escape. Who I am in life, I am behind closed doors, give or take a toy or two. 
 
I equally enjoy having someone curled into me, head in my lap, while I play with their hair. I enjoy soft kisses and tense touches at times. Lightly rubbing their back as their sick or we are in line somewhere.  I enjoy giving massages, back rubs and foot rubs.  I love making a woman feel like a woman. I will encourage them to branch out, be creative, be expressive, be all they can.  I also love sitting and interacting with my children.  I will spend hours on the floor playing with them or talking to them.  I joke around and love to make them laugh or coo (depending upon age) with silly faces or lame kid jokes.  I have the capacity to feel and to love, and to have compassion at times.  It makes me no less a dominant personality than anything Ive said already nor do my propensaties make me in some way volatile towards a woman  because I'm this way. 

The problem I see is that everyone has a predetermined image/definition of what a Dom is or should be. Its a predetermined stereotype only slightly different than racism in my eyes sometimes. I am not like any other person, let alone Dom, I have ever met, nor are others that know me I am willing to bet.  I will admit I have stumbled at times, by everyone does. I don't get all upset about a sub doing something to make herself feel better, nor do I get all worked up about talking to other people.  It's the "Doms" that act all tough all the time that are the root of all evil.  The "you can't talk to that person and I forbid you to interact with this person; stop posting this or saying that, you are mine and mine alone."
 
They show they are insecure with themselves and incapable of controlling themselves, let alone a person or situation. 
 
In my eyes, being a true Dom is a lot more than just floggers and chains, ropes and toys.  A real Dom is someone who understands another person and is willing to displace their own wants to ensure the needs of their submissive/pet are met.  No ego trips, no bullshit about me being better than them.  I have attributes that lend well to them being submissive...and instill things I want in a relationship as a Dom.  I dont place her as a doormat nor do I make it all about me, quite the opposite.  I protect those I care for and will fight to the death (literally) for them.  I make decisions and my actions based upon their well being.  I am the same essentially in real life as I am behind closed doors and online...with just a bit more sex.  I dont get all riled up over anything on the internet, because while I try to stay close to who I am, other people dont.  What I say here on the net, I have said in a group of friends or discussion panel at a munch or while playing yahtzee. 

« Last Edit: April 30, 2015, 06:51:37 AM by The Demented Wizard »

Offline ButterflyXKisses

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Re: So you THINK you're a Dominant huh?
« Reply #49 on: April 30, 2015, 08:05:19 AM »
Okay....so I've read all the replies on this topic and I would like to weigh in, in order to stir the pot further I suppose. 
 

Philosophically,  isnt being that which you are behind closed doors more who you really are?  People put on fake faces and phony smiles in real life all the time.  Isn't that acting or playing?  I roleplay as a rapist, because well, common decency and laws prohibit me from being other.  It is a fantasy role that I enjoy playing as it feeds my insatiable hunger to use a woman how I choose.  However, being a Dom isn't a role for me.
 
Not everything I do is a role.  I am a Dom, a Daddy Dom.  Yes I know, subdivisions of the standard Dom/Top sub/bottom irritate some of you, but its who I am....all the time.  I have a dominant personality and the ONLY time I am playing a role, is when I subdue that for various reasons.  It could be to contain or lessen an argument or a fight, to try and come to an agreement that doesn't involve me flipping out completely, or to make someone feel more at ease.  Those are roles for me because I am more comfortable being very forward and upfront, open and painfully honest about things.  I have always been this way and it has gotten me into trouble as a youth trying to find my way in life...and still does at times as an adult. 

I don't walk around acting like a Domly Dom Dom....but I am a natural "Dom" in my personal life. I take charge of projects no one wants at work, I oversee a group of people and give them direction, I have helped push various people to get themselves back on track various ways. People look to me to solve things, in every physical, emotional, and mental way imaginable.  This flies in the face of the notion that people tend to play a role opposite of who they are as an escape. Who I am in life, I am behind closed doors, give or take a toy or two. 
 
I equally enjoy having someone curled into me, head in my lap, while I play with their hair. I enjoy soft kisses and tense touches at times. Lightly rubbing their back as their sick or we are in line somewhere.  I enjoy giving massages, back rubs and foot rubs.  I love making a woman feel like a woman. I will encourage them to branch out, be creative, be expressive, be all they can.  I also love sitting and interacting with my children.  I will spend hours on the floor playing with them or talking to them.  I joke around and love to make them laugh or coo (depending upon age) with silly faces or lame kid jokes.  I have the capacity to feel and to love, and to have compassion at times.  It makes me no less a dominant personality than anything Ive said already nor do my propensaties make me in some way volatile towards a woman  because I'm this way. 

The problem I see is that everyone has a predetermined image/definition of what a Dom is or should be. Its a predetermined stereotype only slightly different than racism in my eyes sometimes. I am not like any other person, let alone Dom, I have ever met, nor are others that know me I am willing to bet.  I will admit I have stumbled at times, by everyone does. I don't get all upset about a sub doing something to make herself feel better, nor do I get all worked up about talking to other people.  It's the "Doms" that act all tough all the time that are the root of all evil.  The "you can't talk to that person and I forbid you to interact with this person; stop posting this or saying that, you are mine and mine alone."
 
They show they are insecure with themselves and incapable of controlling themselves, let alone a person or situation. 
 
In my eyes, being a true Dom is a lot more than just floggers and chains, ropes and toys.  A real Dom is someone who understands another person and is willing to displace their own wants to ensure the needs of their submissive/pet are met.  No ego trips, no bullshit about me being better than them.  I have attributes that lend well to them being submissive...and instill things I want in a relationship as a Dom.  I dont place her as a doormat nor do I make it all about me, quite the opposite.  I protect those I care for and will fight to the death (literally) for them.  I make decisions and my actions based upon their well being.  I am the same essentially in real life as I am behind closed doors and online...with just a bit more sex.  I dont get all riled up over anything on the internet, because while I try to stay close to who I am, other people dont.  What I say here on the net, I have said in a group of friends or discussion panel at a munch or while playing yahtzee.

So much rep for this post! Well said, Wiz.

Offline The Demented Wizard

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Re: So you THINK you're a Dominant huh?
« Reply #50 on: April 30, 2015, 12:34:37 PM »
@ButterflyXKisses

Thank you for the compliment girlie....though I was only talking about myself in general. :D

Offline ButterflyXKisses

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Re: So you THINK you're a Dominant huh?
« Reply #51 on: April 30, 2015, 02:16:32 PM »
@ButterflyXKisses

Thank you for the compliment girlie....though I was only talking about myself in general. :D

Haha! You are welcome. You do have a way with words.

Offline Ingenue

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Re: So you THINK you're a Dominant huh?
« Reply #52 on: April 30, 2015, 03:23:15 PM »
Who I am in life, I am behind closed doors, give or take a toy or two.

:thumbs: I'm glad you have the privilege to be able to live this way. Wish it was like that for everyone. I mean, not that everyone wouldn't be able to switch roles at the end of the day, but being able to be themselves all the time.

I have the capacity to feel and to love, and to have compassion at times.  It makes me no less a dominant personality...

And indeed more of a man! Real men don't pretend to be emotionless anger meat machines IMO, except for funtimes. ;) (although, only compassion "at times"? :P)

A real Dom is someone who understands another person and is willing to displace their own wants to ensure the needs of their submissive/pet are met.  No ego trips, no bullshit about me being better than them.

That's being a good dom. Which, as Ella has wisely said, begins with being a good person.
another time I made a Sim that I bricked into a standing-only cell of hell in the backyard and it took him FOREVER to die ~MamaMeadow
Who hasn't done that? ~Trill
But then again, if there is anyone here who can tell you that you do not control the nickname you get saddled with it would be me ~the savage

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Offline The Demented Wizard

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Re: So you THINK you're a Dominant huh?
« Reply #53 on: April 30, 2015, 08:12:05 PM »
Who I am in life, I am behind closed doors, give or take a toy or two.

:thumbs: I'm glad you have the privilege to be able to live this way. Wish it was like that for everyone. I mean, not that everyone wouldn't be able to switch roles at the end of the day, but being able to be themselves all the time.

I have the capacity to feel and to love, and to have compassion at times.  It makes me no less a dominant personality...

And indeed more of a man! Real men don't pretend to be emotionless anger meat machines IMO, except for funtimes. ;) (although, only compassion "at times"? :P)

A real Dom is someone who understands another person and is willing to displace their own wants to ensure the needs of their submissive/pet are met.  No ego trips, no bullshit about me being better than them.

That's being a good dom. Which, as Ella has wisely said, begins with being a good person.

@Ingenue Thank you for the reply. 

I am the way I am in real life because that is my personality.  I spent many years trying to subdue it, but it only made me more "forward" in other situations. I lashed out as a result and created issues that could have been solved if I had just handled it more directly.  I have since learned that.  It hasnt been easy and has cost me jobs and relationships because of who I am.  I have been lucky enough to find a job that allows my personality and propensaties to be an aide in how I do my job.  My friends accept me for me and if they dont, then they arent friends.  Not to create a false image, most of the time I am a joker and love to make people laugh.  Its always been passion of mine.  Confront me though, and I will test your footing and ground.

As for the "compassionate sometimes", I said that because I am not compassionate in every setting and every moment. Its a poor term, but Im not a "bleeding heart." I am opinionated and stand firm behind things I truly believe.  I dont think everyone deserves a second chance nor do I tolerate people who show a disregard for respect. If I dont like someone or their actions, I make that clear.  I give everyone a fair shake to start and respect...that will change if they do. 

As for being a meathead, I am hopeful Im not. I try to remember that when you die, how people remember you and how you interacted with them. It is the strongest echo to your memory.

There is a lot to someone, and a lot more than I can define here for myself.  I tried to make this as abridged as possible...hopefully not too much. 
« Last Edit: May 03, 2015, 11:27:44 AM by The Demented Wizard »

Offline McGrath

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Re: So you THINK you're a Dominant huh?
« Reply #54 on: June 04, 2015, 09:28:37 AM »

Imho a safeword is more damaging in a BDSM relationship then it helps in the end. My sub told me so often that she would have used a safeword in this or that situation , but as i didn´t allow one she couldn´t. After she standed it she is thankful to me , that she had the oppurtunity to get this experience , which would´t have been possible with a safeword established.

Just my 2 cents.

Offline Vex Malleus

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Re: So you THINK you're a Dominant huh?
« Reply #55 on: June 04, 2015, 12:55:17 PM »

Imho a safeword is more damaging in a BDSM relationship then it helps in the end. My sub told me so often that she would have used a safeword in this or that situation , but as i didn´t allow one she couldn´t. After she standed it she is thankful to me , that she had the oppurtunity to get this experience , which would´t have been possible with a safeword established.

Just my 2 cents.


Agreed.  My g/f and I don't use safe words. It should be about trust, not worrying if your partner is going to go "too far".
-=<>=-

Offline Addie

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Re: So you THINK you're a Dominant huh?
« Reply #56 on: June 04, 2015, 02:56:27 PM »
If you've known your partner for many years, it could be safe enough to throw out safewords. But as someone who has practiced BDSM for almost 25 years, I think it's absolutely necessary to have a safeword, especially during the early stages of a relationship. I would never in a million years play with anyone who thought they were unnecessary early on.

Offline lysyn

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Re: So you THINK you're a Dominant huh?
« Reply #57 on: June 04, 2015, 06:06:26 PM »
Agreed. Trust is earned, not given freely. If I wouldn't trust you with my credit cards I certainly wouldn't trust you with my feelings or my body.
So far I can't remember ever being wrong in a judgement of character of someone. Then again I tend to hold onto it until I get to know them a bit. Sometimes intuitively I know someone's a retard though.
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Offline GermanChick

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Re: So you THINK you're a Dominant huh?
« Reply #58 on: July 19, 2015, 11:27:17 PM »

Imho a safeword is more damaging in a BDSM relationship then it helps in the end. My sub told me so often that she would have used a safeword in this or that situation , but as i didn´t allow one she couldn´t. After she standed it she is thankful to me , that she had the oppurtunity to get this experience , which would´t have been possible with a safeword established.

Just my 2 cents.


Agreed.  My g/f and I don't use safe words. It should be about trust, not worrying if your partner is going to go "too far".


I've known the guy I 'play' with for 20+ years and have had sex with him for most of those (deployments not included)... My body changes, his body changes - seriously. What didn't hurt yesterday, hurts today - and a scream of pain that is unintentional is the biggest turn off imaginable.
I love to scream and beg for mercy. Love to tell him 'No, please don't' and NOT MEAN IT... What then would I say if I DID mean it? Or what would be my sign if I was really in trouble for whatever reason. If the knot was tied just a little bit too tight for me to enjoy it, when the gag was too well placed with my nose just a bit congested, when there just wasn't enough lube that day ...

I'm ALL for Safe Words.
Any time, any where - with anyone.




Sorry. Just had to state my opinion one more time...  :deadhorse:

Offline Mr Nice Guy

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Re: So you THINK you're a Dominant huh?
« Reply #59 on: July 20, 2015, 01:04:41 AM »
With anyone...? Pick me, pick me!  >:)


I've never real-life roleplayed, and not certain I would want to. But if I did, I'd definitely have arranged a safeword. I want to be confident my partner is enjoying my attentions-in the absence of many of the usual indications, I'd want something rock-solid obvious to let me know everything is still good.

I take the point made earlier that a safeword might stop a hesitant submissive from trying some new experience, but I'm ok with that. I'd rather talk it over and do that thing only when they're ready to try it.


I've been in relationships with women who enjoy being submissive, but I wouldn't claim any knowledge of the D/s lifestyle.... This is just my viewpoint as someone on the outside of that world.

 

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