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Author Topic: On motherfuckers  (Read 988 times)

Offline AdamWantsYou

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On motherfuckers
« on: May 06, 2015, 04:40:46 PM »
I have a whole bunch of stuff I can't seem to reconcile in my head right now. I hope some of what I feel will make its way from my head to the page and thence to your understanding.

Not in reference to any specific thread (and therefore, non-IW) - but just generally - I can see that unpleasant folks have caused all kinds of hurt, in and out of relationships, to good and decent people. Some of the stuff I've read just boggles my mind, and I'm not sure how to deal with it. I come away with a lot of questions.

Like: Who are these gentlemen? Who the fuck do they think they are? Why are there so many of them, it seems? How do they manipulate others into giving them precious time and energy? Do I know anyone like this? Do I work with them? Might there be a way to tell so I can deny them the time of day?

Most troubling of all the questions is the one I ask myself: why am I so bugged by them? Does it come from genuine compassion for those they have hurt, or - bear with me please - am I actually just pruriently interested in how they have got away with it? Am I just like a "true crime" enthusiast, except with abusers instead of murderers? Should I just leave alone?

Sorry, this doesn't really have a point, I just need somewhere to take out my unfocussed anger rather than focus on people I can't find and maim.  :deadhorse: (Yes, I will put away my pale suit of armour now.  :facepalm: )
How could you use a poor maiden so?

Offline RayPistonprowl

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Re: On motherfuckers
« Reply #1 on: July 09, 2015, 02:29:16 PM »
[member=34]AdamWantsYou[/member] I don't know how I missed this before. You're an absurdly decent chap so any prurient interest you may have in how the motherfuckers got away with it is surely just your brain screaming 'whyyyyyy?' and 'hoooowwww?' ?!?!

I've long been interested in the psychology of 'evil' and what makes people do such horrid things to each other, and I think the answer lies in a combination of nature (as with psychopathy/sociopathy there is a brain defect and resulting inability to empathise correctly) and nurture (some people never outgrow childhood self-centredness and the result is same: they can't empathise correctly).

I also think average people can learn to spot these people, who may appear perfectly charming, before they cause them harm. Because people are consistent over time, they are predictable, and that can be used to your advantage. Unfortunately these sorts of people are attracted to power and often end up heading corporations and positions of power and infecting them with their lack of conscience. And they're rampant in the BDSM world for the same reason: attraction to 'power'.

I spoke broadly about this a day or two ago in the "Is a girl allowed to change her mind?" thread:,1030.msg59422.html#msg59422,1030.msg59432.html#msg59432,1030.msg59522.html#msg59522

I did a search on sociopathy and psychopathy cos I remember someone else talking about it recently and found Addie's post here:,1000.msg57854.html#msg57854

I still get confused on psychopath vs sociopath and empathy vs sympathy but hopefully this makes some sense. :uhoh:
I could end you if you ask me nicely. I could make it slow and painful if you like. So you'll have the opportunity to reflect on the sadness that is you and the awesomeness that is me. -Miss Andrey
Verily I Xeroxed Everyone's Nipples. -cosmicwitch
Once in awhile, I have just dirty nasty slam the salami into the cringing hole of mystery repeatedly until she's good and truly fucked. -Carlosdevil

Offline lysyn

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Re: On motherfuckers
« Reply #2 on: July 09, 2015, 02:59:32 PM »
I was taught that psychopaths are born and have a problem distinguishing between right and wrong. They have to plan stuff out thoroughly in order to minimise risks to themselves when engaging in criminal acts. They are also generally charming people until the well laid mask slips. They also disassociate faster from any wrong doing on their part. Very good at justifying and rationalizing to themselves. And they can manipulate very well.

Sociopaths are created by their experiences with society and while they know the difference between right and wrong, they don't care. They are more impulsive and when they engage in a criminal act, they accept that they did it. They don't really have remorse either but that's simply because they don't care. They don't need to disassociate from their actions, they're usually indifferent to them. Also part of the impulsiveness is being prone to bouts of rage.

Psychopaths blend in better because they plan and care what happens to them, sociopaths have a hard time in society because they don't care about hiding who they are.

But it's been years since I've studied psychology, there's likely a lot more to it than that. That's just the quick overview I remember.

Sympathy means you have experienced what someone has been through to an extent and can thus sympathize with them, empathy is when you haven't personally experienced something but you can otherwise relate and have feels for someone going through whatever. (I hate to say pity, but that's really what it boils down to.)
« Last Edit: July 09, 2015, 03:02:44 PM by lysyn »
So far I can't remember ever being wrong in a judgement of character of someone. Then again I tend to hold onto it until I get to know them a bit. Sometimes intuitively I know someone's a retard though.
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