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Author Topic: Existential Funk  (Read 1192 times)

Offline well_hung_jack

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Existential Funk
« on: May 27, 2015, 09:49:32 AM »

This is me just venting misery at any poor bastard passing by.  I really am wondering what the fucking point of me existing is.  Don't get all 'false compassion' and 'there there' with me, I'm too egotistical to commit suicide and this isn't a cry for help.  But seriously, what is the fucking point to me?  I'm 35, have NO FRIENDS and NO FAMILY; I produce nothing and have never had kids.  The last time I was sexually active was two years ago and even back then it was once a year maybe if was lucky.  But I never was lucky, it was shit sex.  Like what the fuck am I doing here?  (In the world, not on this site.  I know what I'm doing on this site, I'm pissing and moaning about how shit my life is).  Just in a shitty fucking mood today, I don't seem to fit ANYWHERE...  Wish I had an answer, wish I could sort my shitty fucking life out.  I know what Ron Burgandy would do...


Offline Itsjustadream

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Re: Existential Funk
« Reply #1 on: May 27, 2015, 01:16:01 PM »
Does there have to be a point to things? Plenty of things happen without a reason, just try and enjoy it until you die.
I've had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn't it.

Offline well_hung_jack

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Re: Existential Funk
« Reply #2 on: May 27, 2015, 01:45:54 PM »
You aint wrong for sure ijad, everything's just pointless chaos that we try to carve an illusion through.  Just having trouble maintaining illusions I suppose.  Feel so fucking numb today.  Need a shot of adrenaline.

Offline GermanChick

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Re: Existential Funk
« Reply #3 on: May 27, 2015, 02:13:48 PM »
Sorry you're feeling shit today -




I'm pretty sure we all get that way sometimes tbh. People with kids (like me) sometimes go : WTF was I thinking. We're melting the ice caps, education sucks and now I've added to the issues by reproducing and have to worry about not just ME surviving but also how my kids will do in the future.


I tell you that there is pretty much nothing you can do about it when you slip into this mood, unless you believe in getting shitface drunk (or high I guess) and sleeping it off. It'll probably look less shitty tomorrow. Maybe?


If it persists, maybe a change in life style is in order. I don't know what you do to eek out a living - but doing stuff for others and improving their life has worked for me...




Offline lysyn

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Re: Existential Funk
« Reply #4 on: May 27, 2015, 03:11:39 PM »
I just got out of my own funk last week. It gets better again. Promise. Plus you should be sharing your lovely cock more often. (And your sense of humor.) Two years is too little. You're depriving horny women everywhere of a good hard fucking with that tool.
So far I can't remember ever being wrong in a judgement of character of someone. Then again I tend to hold onto it until I get to know them a bit. Sometimes intuitively I know someone's a retard though.
~Someone with a bright future and great hair.

Offline well_hung_jack

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Re: Existential Funk
« Reply #5 on: May 27, 2015, 03:31:08 PM »
@GermanChick  that IS good advice GC, I've been thinking about charity work for a while now, maybe that'll help.  I know these things pass, just a part of life.  But mine is so fucking empty, can't connect with people.  I hit-up the super market for a four pack of misery destroying magic formula.  Yet again, good advice GC!  :D


@lysyn  well thankyou!   :*   if a woman actually showed interest in my cock in real life it would be a bonus though!  lol  I just found my only pack of condoms; unused, unopened and OUT OF DATE!!!  I mean I'm no Brad Pitt, but REALLY?!?!  This is a sad and shocking state of events.  I'm going to die a born-again virgin!

Offline Addie

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Re: Existential Funk
« Reply #6 on: May 28, 2015, 01:18:52 AM »
I'd rape ya. How do the ladies resist a guy with a mohawk and a giant dick who humps guitars and has well hung jack-o-lanterns on his headboard? And I didn't even get to the Hitler mannequin. If you can't get laid, there is no justice in this world.

(And I'll be a spoilsport and say if you have a problem with depression, stay away from alcohol. Cuz depressant.)

Offline well_hung_jack

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Re: Existential Funk
« Reply #7 on: May 28, 2015, 06:26:54 AM »
Yeah, right Addie?  I should be knee-deep in pussy, where da bitches at?!  lol


Depression is an uncontrollable chemical imbalance, I don't suffer from that.  I suffer from a shitty, lonely, pointless, sexually frustrated existence.  Whenever I'm really down there are real-world factors influencing my mood; perhaps I over analyse things sometimes but I'm certainly not clinically depressed.  If I met a good woman my mood would turn on a dime...  I need a DAMN good fuck and I need it fucking sharpish!

Offline AdamWantsYou

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Re: Existential Funk
« Reply #8 on: May 28, 2015, 07:01:57 AM »
What you need, my good man, is some existential funk.

liberate tuteme ex inferis

Offline Surrender2U

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Re: Existential Funk
« Reply #9 on: May 28, 2015, 11:22:55 AM »
If I met a good woman my mood would turn on a dime...  I need a DAMN good fuck and I need it fucking sharpish!

I volunteer.  >:) :bateyes:

Offline well_hung_jack

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Re: Existential Funk
« Reply #10 on: May 28, 2015, 02:10:31 PM »
@AdamWantsYou  Can you just like follow me around and be my personal DJ?  lol  It's IMPOSSIBLE to be depressed whilst listening to Funk, that's sciencey FACT.  Maybe I should replace my Nirvana playlist with Sly and the Family Stone...


@Surrender2U  My cock is impressively large but not of trans-Atlantic proportions unfortunately...  You ARE outrageously hot though and I'd certainly like to give you the job  ;) x x x

Offline well_hung_jack

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Re: Existential Funk
« Reply #11 on: May 28, 2015, 02:22:35 PM »
A lot of the personal bullshit that landed on my doorstep yesterday has been sorted out and I've been banging out press-ups like a fucking beast.  That combined with all your good advice and Adam's Funkadelic upliftment have put my mind back on track.  Thanks to everyone who wasted valuable time reading my whiney bitching.  When any of you are feeling low I'd like to think I'll be there with a friendly smile and an open ear...  But I'm a fairweather friend so there's fucking NO chance I'm putting up with THAT shit!...


:rofl:  JOKE!!!!   :jk:   :*


For a fresh tasty slice of man-up I'd like to thank THIS eloquent phone call for inspiration:



Offline Red Right Hand

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Re: Existential Funk
« Reply #12 on: May 28, 2015, 02:57:08 PM »
Glad you're doing better and sorry I'm just a bit late to the party, but do you realize when you open dat can a funk it don't just stop? Hell naw, it funks right on along witchya or witoutcha

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Offline well_hung_jack

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Re: Existential Funk
« Reply #13 on: May 28, 2015, 04:06:56 PM »
Glad you're doing better and sorry I'm just a bit late to the party, but do you realize when you open dat can a funk it don't just stop? Hell naw, it funks right on along witchya or witoutcha


:rofl:  I don't know why I bothered with the original subject of this thread.  I shoulda just posted 'Rape Cage Funk Party' and made jive talk mandatory for EVERY poster.  Misery abated!   :))    :thumbs:

 

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