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Author Topic: Cheese jokes!  (Read 677 times)

Offline Cinnamon_Spider

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Cheese jokes!
« on: May 27, 2015, 04:06:36 PM »
I do love terrible jokes - especially cheese jokes. Like a sponge, I tend to absorb them.


What happened after the explosion at the French Cheese factory?
All that was left was de Brie!

What is a mouse's favourite hotel?
The Stilton!

What kind of cheese can you use as bear bait?
Camembert!

What kind of cheese can you hide a small horse behind?
Mascarpone!

What did the cheese say when it looked in the mirror?
Halloumi!

Why won't I share my cheese?
It's nacho cheese

Offline Cannonball

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Re: Cheese jokes!
« Reply #1 on: May 27, 2015, 04:32:17 PM »
On a similar note.. What about pick up lines? My old friend and I used to troll the malls and he had about a million of them.. To my shock some worked!

They call me Dr. Grape...The G is silent

Can I reheat my egg roll in your microwave?

I don't know much about pies but DAMN you make my banana cream.

(At Waffle House of all places) Omelette you in on a secret. You and I would brie perfectly gouda. Life would be feta if we were togetha. We'll be grate.

Do you sell hot dogs? Because you know how to make a wiener stand.

I love the way you move...like butter on a bald monkey.

If it's true that we are what we eat, I could be you by morning!

And the list goes on. Some I am ashamed to admit I use these days just to get a reaction from folks.  :facepalm:


Offline Cinnamon_Spider

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Re: Cheese jokes!
« Reply #2 on: May 27, 2015, 04:53:54 PM »
Hahah! Although not food related, my favourite pick up line of all time has to be..

How much does a polar bear weigh?
Just enough to break the ice!

Although, in my previous job a colleague claimed her favourite was:
Do you know how to contact the ordnance survey? I found a scene of outstanding natural beauty.

Offline Cannonball

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Re: Cheese jokes!
« Reply #3 on: May 27, 2015, 05:10:48 PM »
Not bad. The fellow I mentioned that was a good friend got a lass to not only date him but marry him with a touch of help from my own humble self.

We were to meet this object of his intent at the mall. It had a bridge oversetting a small coin fountain. She thought she was meeting me there for she could not stand him. Needless to say I knew this was going to get interesting since he and I planned ahead for this very moment. (That and I had just finished watching Top Gun at the time.)

She huffed off when she found out the truth. We all but herded her to that bridge. Once she was upon it we did a very loud and offkey version of 'You Lost that Lovin' Feeling'. Knew she would try and dart away so I had it also pre-planned that he and I take opposing sides on the bridge to crowd her in.

In the end with both of us on bended knee did she finally agree to go out with him. Months later after the wedding he drew me to the side and said in a very casual and matter of fact tone.

Him: You know why men die before their wives?
Me: Life insurance policies?
Him: No. Becase they WANT to!
Her: Guess what fellas?
Me: ~Startled that she overheard~ Need me to leave?
Her: Yup. Less witnesses the better.

Offline Cinnamon_Spider

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Re: Cheese jokes!
« Reply #4 on: May 27, 2015, 05:48:01 PM »
Sounds like he has a lot to thank you for!

How severe was his punishment then? ;)

Offline Cannonball

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Re: Cheese jokes!
« Reply #5 on: May 27, 2015, 05:52:51 PM »
He has three kids

Two mortages

One very worn couch

And a lifetime supply of earplugs!   >:)

 

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