I honestly don't know if this is even a thing. And just an FYI - I do not ever wish this upon anyone in real life.
I don't know if it's a submissive thing with me, but I crave being frightened, scared, overpowered, etc. by a man. Not just in the bedroom, but outside of it too. Sometimes I want to be that 1950's wife that has to do everything that the husband says.
Physically, he would beat me. Not all the time, though, but enough where I'd have to hide the bruises from family and friends. It would almost always end with him raping me.
Emotionally, psychological and at a social level. This is the biggest thing for me. Every guy that I would talk to, I'd hear about it and I get a guilt trip and punished. After he beats me, he would say he's sorry, that he didn't mean to do it. I wouldn't be allowed to see family or friends. He builds me up, just to break me with his words.
I found this and thought it kind of describes me...
I abuse her when I want sex because her feigning refusal and fearing a beating turns me on. That, and I hit and punch my women whenever they say or do something stupid (as women oftentimes do), or if I come home and need to relieve my frustrations by using her as a punching bag; whereupon afterwards, once she's black & blue, and exhausted from the beating, I then savagely, selfishly, and excruciatingly RAPE HER to my heart's content - my mind solely focused on my own pleasure. And all the while...she enjoys it. It makes her wet. It gives her orgasm(s). It keeps her satisfied, contented, and most importantly, it's what makes her happy.
Anyone else into this or am I just flipping crazy?