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Author Topic: Poly relationships  (Read 1157 times)

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Offline RayPistonprowl

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Re: Poly relationships
« Reply #15 on: November 16, 2019, 01:53:50 AM »
@Misty I shan't judge a soul for their relationship choices. My older and more experienced friends have taught me that people often go through stages during their lives, and those stages make them compatible with sometimes vastly different people. There is no shame in never being compatible with the one-on-one heterosexual life-partner ideal. As an older chap I will say only to recognise your traumas, guard your heart, and know how much to give to each partner. You deserve partner(s) who complement you and admire you and offer whatever stability you're comfortable with.

Per my own therapist, feeling 'cramped and suffocated to the idea of being tied down to one person' is (and hear me here) only an issue worth addressing if it causes you distress. You can reconcile this two ways:
1) Accept that you have intimacy issues, understand their origins, and learn to define the right sorts to entrust with this information;
2) Accept you've addressed your intimacy issues and find the best match(es).

30 years ago I learnt about the different sorts of love and how they change throughout life, and I hope you'll benefit from this knowledge. Here's a rather sparse primer: https://www.lifehack.org/816195/types-of-love

Agape love is the sort of love that some extraordinary people find in middle to old age. It is deep and well beyond the superficial physical attraction that brings us together initially. It doesn't burn as bright, but when you need stability, it provides that. Stability becomes more important as you become more vulnerable, whether because of needing support for your young or because your body begins to fail with age. This sort of love is most stable. It isn't as exciting as fucking like bunnies, but it's the most intimate.

Find the sort of love for where you are in life, and learn and teach your partner(s) until you fall into the sort of intimacy you can draw the most comfort from.

Don't hurt him too much, especially his face. I want to use it as my throne at some point. -cosmicwitch
If I ever have a punk band with just two members, I'm calling it "Anal Pear". -kittyumbrass
Nature abhors a vacuum, so if you present us with a hole we're going to try to fill it. For nature's sake. -SoftGameHunter
My strap on is also hung like Ron Jeremy's ponysona and will totes raep your ankle. -Ingenue

 

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